New! TLW's Megamerge Dissolution Solution Blog - best place to keep up on news of the whole U.S.-Mexico problem. Check it out daily.
The Megamerge Dissolution Solution to the U.S.-Mexico Border Problem
Easy Simplified Version
Original Publication Date: Apr. 30, 2010. Last Update: July 6, 2010.
- Long before white Europeans began colonizing America, it was the home of native Americans. Too bad, the Euros had no respect for them or their cultures and civilizations, and took over the entire hemisphere via horrible genocide. When the dust settled, the southern hemisphere was controlled by Roman Catholics, the northern hemisphere by Protestants. After centuries of evolution, the United States of America and Mexico developed their current configurations and common 2K-mi. border, which has increasingly become a lawless scene used for drug dealing as well as a unidirectional sieve for Mexicans going to the U.S. to work and/or live permanently, with backward Mexico becoming dependent on the U.S. in an unhealthy way that is causing many problems, while suffering from an incurably corrupt racist government that is run by elite fatcats and criminal cartels and forever keeps the rich on top of the poor, with no internal reform in sight, crushing the latter until they either go criminal or cross the border seeking honest work, only to be crushed again like mice between the feet of two incompatible elephantine systems. Meanwhile religion has lost its importance as a reason to separate the hemispheres, as most have become areligious or at least secular, recognizing the need to separate church and state, and racism has increasingly become kaput, all combining to end any reason for two separate nations to exist. Meanwhile the major parties fight each other over negative-thinking non-solutions, wasting time.
- The Megamerge Dissolution Solution is a nonpartisan plan for ending all the problems caused by the U.S.-Mexico border by dissolving it and expanding it to the oceans while incorporating Mexico into the U.S. as 10+ new states, in the hope that they will become vibrant economic zones that create millions of jobs for all 414 million Americans, who won't need passports to travel state-to-state anymore, while enfranchising all Mexicans and giving them a say in how the U.S. is run permanently along with their share of the Great American Dream.
- Because the U.S. has all the power and started the whole mess in the first place back in 1848, it has to take the first step, with a bipartisan Congress officially inviting the people of Mexico to forget past grudges and dissolve their failed country and government in stages in return for forming new U.S. states and petitioning for statehood with new constitutions and boundaries that Congress must approve. It is proposed that Mexico form 10 new states for starters, but more might be possible down the line as things develop.
- The people of Mexico take the second step by making a national decision to accept Congress' proposal, probably via referendum. The politics of deciding the boundaries, names, and political representatives of each new state will be up to them, with the U.S. providing financial, technical and even military support as required.
- Once the process reaches the right stage, the U.S. military will move in and set up bases to end all lawlessness and provide a safe atmosphere for future development. At a certain point the govt. of Mexico will hand over sovereignty and dissolve, and a new 60+-star U.S. flag will fly over Old Mexico, with all Mexicans becoming U.S. citizens with full rights, and electing federal representatives to take their seats in Washington D.C. In order to make a new start, immunity will be granted for all Mexican govt. officials, and all past criminal immigration records for the new citizens will be erased.
- The U.S. will provide needed support for both northward and southward migration, via grants, tax incentives, facilities and transportation, etc., including hopefully a full Marshall Plan to create the necessary infrastructure to attract mass southward migration. The southward migrants will buy land and set up new English-speaking cities and hire from the new enlarged pool of 414 million Americans, who will be protected from "carpetbaggers" by U.S. laws. No, this is not a "White Man's Burden" plan from the 19th century, it's a totally nonracist plan for the 21st century, with the hope of bringing the backward undeveloped territory of Mexico into the Great American Dream ASAP sans its horrible corrupt govt. and retro constitution, which will be replaced by ours.
- Hopefully the 60+ state Congress will enact legislation to create U.S.-Mexico Megamerge Day, an annual celebration held on May 5 (Cinco de Mayo), making the U.S. a model bilingual nation that has learned to celebrate its diversity and share the New World in peace and prosperity.
- What will the U.S. gain from all this except hordes of backward unskilled laborers? First, 760K sq. mi. of new territory and 5.8K mi. of yummy coastline, which can turn the dangerous lawless 2K-mi. U.S.-Mexico border into the gateway to a New California, New Arizona, New Texas, New Florida, etc. The Yankee "gringos" who flood down there will bring their knowhow, connections and capital and develop the new U.S. states, with all that labor being available at low low rates, no different than now when they cross the border, only this time a zillion times more work available since it's a huge historic new development boom, plus no expensive border-crossing fees paid to coyotes. Meanwhile the entire U.S. system will expand to Mexico, including Medicare, Social Security, and education systems, so that the young generation of Mexicans and gringos can be educated to take their place in the bigger better U.S. economy. Only the totally corrupt Mexican govt. along with the old unsealable 2K-mi. political line on the map will be gone, so that people can move and live where they want and where jobs are available sans passports, green cards etc. - a pure win-win ending.
Sounds simple, and it can be, or it can be difficult, depending on the willingness of all involved to drop all racism, white/brown/red supremacy, religious prejudice, and past grudges, and work to accept each other and make a new start so the 21st century is the greatest America has ever known. Does the New World want to repeat the mistakes of the Old World, or show them the way that all can learn to accept each other's existence and enjoy sharing?
How do we get started? We need politicians on both sides of the border to come out in support, and we need the U.S. govt. to work on all the legal, political, financial, and logistical details, hopefully in a bipartisan effort. Will you be the first U.S. congressperson to announce that you're a Megamerger? TLW is not a politician and is willing to share any credit with politicans who take his idea and make it a reality. Will it be you? And will you be dedicated to keeping the effort bipartisan and not descend into partisan politics no matter how much pressure or temptation? Do you want your grandkids to enjoy a bigger better freer U.S., and if so, are you willing to do what it takes?
Media Status: To date no major media has officially noticed the Megamerge Dissolution Solution, or commented on it pro or con, or interviewed TLW about it, much less plugged it. When I first launched it, since I'm not a politician and am not using the idea to launch my political career but only want to interest politicians in it, I was hoping for a free major media plug to get to 1 million views of the original proposal in the belief that that's what it will take to launch it into the public arena, after which I only wanted to watch the process from the sidelines and publish more articles when I think it's veering off-course, and of course accept laurels, gifts, sinecures, free villas on the Mexican coast, major book publishing contract, talk show appearances, welcome to Millionaire. The stony silence is saddening considering that the problem grows worse daily, and precious time for developing Mexico as a U.S. sector is being wasted. Meanwhile every non-solution by the major parties gets endless press while I remain a non-starter. I'm even braving the possibility of personal background checks and vicious defamation even though it's to no point since the idea is one thing and I am another, and don't have a political career to stop in the first place. Which major media will be smart enough to cover the MMDS first? The Mexican govt. might be trying to influence the U.S. press to silence since it has to remain the Invisible Elephant and keep the public spotlight off its corruption and sweetheart deals with the U.S. establishment to stay in existence and get away with crushing the poor and pressuring them to cross the border despite all hardships and obstacles so it can act offended at the U.S. response, when it's the #1 problem that has to be dissolved for any true solution. Stay tuned for the big breakthrough for the most positive-thinking solution the two countries can have.
Everybody help spread this url:
On to the original proposal...
The Megamerge Dissolution Solution to the U.S.-Mexico Border Problem
One Mega Nation
© Copyright by T.L. Winslow. All Rights Reserved.
Original publication date: Apr. 28, 2009
Last update: July 23, 2010
The age-old pesky U.S.-Mexico border problem has taxed the resources of both countries, led to long lists of injustices, and appears to be heading only for worse troubles in the future. Guess what? The border problem can never be solved. Why? Because the border IS the problem! It's time for a paradigm change.
Never fear, a satisfying, comprehensive solution is within reach: the Megamerge Dissolution Solution. Simply dissolve the border along with the failed Mexican government, and megamerge the two countries under U.S. law, with mass free 2-way migration eventually equalizing the development and opportunities permanently, with justice and without racism, and without threatening U.S. sovereignty or basic principles.
T.L. Winslow (TLW) (b. 1953), a 99-44/100% pure gringo was born in and grew up in Denver, Colorado (a town named after a gringo, and a state named by the Spanish, meaning colorful as in red, the land not the people, who are still mainly uncolorfully white), and after the official general amnesty in 1986 watched illegal immigration bloom in the 1990s and 2000s, along with more than one new general amnesty fight in Congress, turning his childhood all-white neighborhoods in the northern suburb of Thornton and southwest Denver into all-Hispanic neighborhoods (not counting the all-Hispanic neighborhood in west Denver he lived in during the Who Killed Kennedy Year). He also watched the rise of xenophobic anti-immigration leaders such as Colorado's Tom Tancredo, who really really fear Hispanic immigrants for various xenophobic knee-jerk reasons (usually with the phony coverstory that they will take jobs away from real Irish, er, Italian Americans like him, even though at the same time Mexicans are inferior vermin, yada yada), and usually promote the final solution of stopping up the border with walls, guards, the Army, the Navy, the Marines, anything that can pack a gun.
The logical end of this thinking is robot Terminator armies along the border to kill everything that moves 24/7/365, always look on the bright side of life, just autozap them, like vermin in the kitchen at night. Imagine, no weak humans to feel sorry for them, and no need to pay salaries or worry about bribes, just the installation and maintenance costs, the prices are beyond competitive plus next-day installation, and imagine the boom to wolves, coyotes and other wildlife that feed on human carrion, creating a Mexican-free Back to Nature Zone girdling the good ole Mexican-free U.S.A. from sea to shining sea, complete with more American bald eagles and California condors, maybe grizzly bears, that oughta please the John Birch Society, Audubon Society and Sierra Club at the same time. And it's all-American due process of law, your actions got you there, trespasser, and now it's the National Make My Day Law in my house, pass the ammo to Robojudge Robodread. And why stop there? Let's send the excess produce to Soylent Green factories to feed the world's hungry, Lockandloadheed Co. and other military contractors are going green. Shut up, you're sick :)
But TLW, you're a gringo, why are you letting them get to you, let's be truthful now that they're not here in the bar with us to overhear, Mexicans are an inferior race, nothing but shit, we just can't say that in public anymore, they're unlike us white real Americans who came from approved European countries like Ireland and made it to president, they're always after me lucky charms, or Italy, we already got enough mafias, and their culture is totally incompatible with ours, they're all banditos who make that ahaha cry like the Three Amigos, I don't care if they were gringo actors, and should stick to their miserable dusty starving villages with the picturesque white pajamas, sombreros, and long-dressed Mexican senioritas, you know the Shell No-Pest Strip jokes, why, ain't my tourist dollars good enough, I been there twice in thirty years and only got diarrhea three times and gonorrhea twice, going three times a night, I'm used to it? We already allowed the blacks to gain their rights, at least most of them are an ocean away in Africa and we're fresh out of slave ships, send them more AIDS pills, and we elected a black president, half-black anyway, so why give browns an idea, we already got them believing they're criminals just for wanting to wave a U.S. flag on the Fourth of July like we do, let's just keep them down and have the pigs hassle them on Cinco de Mayo and call them the racists when we catch them waving that red-green-white flag, chuckle.
Not that any of this applies to the Canadian border, buddy, they're clean and white like us, and all the illegal alien BS can be skipped with them as long as they drop that Frog Talk or funny Swedish accent, we tried to conquer Canada once and they whipped us, and they are still in love with the Brits and their superior Parliamentary system and British Commonwealth, so they don't have to megamerge with us if they don't want to, boo hoo.
Sorry, but TLW has long lived among Mexican immigrants, legal and illegal, and has concluded that they are okay people, that he wouldn't mind if they lived next door to him, they already have, so what if they always had a barrel filled with empty beer cans out back, I could use a shot of Tequila once in awhile to clear my sinuses and knew where to get it for free. I'm very sure that English-speaking gringos white, black and yellow can live in harmony with them and fight in the same military units with them in Afghanistan, and that xenophobia is stupid for people who are already living peacefully with us anyway, look, we know what ages our skin, free radicals, try healthy skin rejuvenator, we don't have or want thousands of years of religious hate and grudges to build up like the Israelis and Palestinians in the Middle East or the Christians and Muslims in the Balkans, are you okay with that, what would we do without Santana and Journey music anyway, start healthy stay healthy.
But what about all them Mexican criminals and gangbangers, TLW, Gov. Terminator just arrested ten zillion of them two days ago? Hey, all peoples have their criminal element, but last time I heard they are prosecuted according to law, and have their rights, even non-citizens. Maybe it was their childhood upbringing and lack of opportunities, who cares, only small minds try to use them as straw men to knock down, we're not talking about small minds getting hung up on little people but big ideas from big minds, I'm not a political commentator, I check my facts. The great majority of Mexicans have always been law-abiding citizens, imagine that, rated PG, and I'm talking about a permanent solution, the extension not the abolishment of law, a megasolution that will help future generations grow up straight, what's the border been known for all along but anarchy, does the process feel endless or a 10-minute express, my family is so much more lovable when they're not hungry.
Get off your high gringo horses and take off your masks, Mexicans as a group don't need to be dissolved or exterminated, but allowed to prosper and thrive under law, just like gringos, a world is better cause you're sharing, and their unapologetic cool unique Mexican culture preserved and protected for posterity without having to visit it in a museum like the Aztecs and Mayans, we gringos already got enough dirty laundry, so we can show the Old World that the New World is the best, we learned our historical lessons, don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Rather, it's the whole U.S.-Mexico border thang that is stupid and getting in the way of solving the underlying problems, a dumb line drawn on a map, and it's the #1 problem that needs to be dissolved, plop plop fizz fizz, oh what a relief it is, pass some more spicy Mexican food along with a plate of gringoburgers.
But hold all them arguments for legalizing illegal Mexican immigrants, or attempting a word warp by calling them undocumented workers, you still don't get it. It's not the Mexican people, it's not the U.S. people, it's not the U.S. government, it's the cruddy corrupt asqueroso corrompido corrupto fatcat and cartel-controlled Mexican government that's the problem, and the reason that the Mexican people go through Hell to get away from it and live and work in the wonderful U.S. with us gringos, never mind the racism, loving to pay their own way if they can. Ergo, the solution is not to stop up, tighten up, set up a process at, or regulate and control undocumented workers and illegal aliens, but to dissolve the border and annex Mexico to the U.S., not like we were talking about doing with Puerto Rico, but far more thorough, replacing the Mexican government with the U.S. government completely, allowing Americans (all of us) to travel and move freely in both directions, resulting in underdeveloped Mexico finally getting developed like what recently happened to East Germany when the Berlin Wall came down, after which gringos born there will consider themselves just as much Americans as gringos born in Kansas, like Barack Obama. And ditto, Mexicans born in Veracruz will consider themselves Americans, and want to join the U.S. military and kick ass for the Stars and Stripes and join the fight against terrorism, which, by the way, will be a lot easier to stop at the new ocean-to-ocean-to-ocean-to-ocean borders, listen, it's our problem now. In this day and age, a border is something that should require somebody to have to cross an ocean via ship or plane, not just scale a fence or swim a river, and only after that's true can we even talk about protecting our border from anything, so Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall.
Did I mention the Berlin Wall? Whose side were you rooting for back then, and what happened to you since? It's more like a guillotine, or a tourniquet. You don't cut off your nose to spite your face, and you don't cut off blood flow to a body part because you don't like God for giving it to you, unless we're talking about dicks, and let's not go there, stupid prejudice ain't PC anymore. Face it, Americans and Mexicans are all-but one people already, more similar than different, and in the same boat vis a vis the bigger world picture, especially with regard to global economic competition, world terrorism, or a potential world war with Asia or Europe. Mexican should be a style or subculture, not necessarily its own country. Either we unite and learn to get along, or we have a real problem that can only end in unimaginable horror, do I have to bring up ancient Rome and them pesky illegal alien Germans and Goths, and how Rome fell? It's the government they swear allegiance to, not their ethnicity or religion that should matter to us in this day and age, get over that racism crap and see how much better you'll feel and how many weights disappear from your shoulders, Mr. Charles Atlas.
Unite under the U.S. banner, duh, too simple? A gringo plot to revive Manifest Destiny so we can move in along with our slaves, er, scratch that, we're way past that White is Right era, and our nation is less than 80% white now and heading down by our own choices, why, because we finally woke up and decided that we want our children to live on a peaceful planet with equal justice for all, and all grudges healed. A 19th century solution in a 21st century world, er, scratch that, it's the 21st century solution with no name, like lesbianism used to be, you gotta keep it in the closet or go on Ellen first? Those pesky Mexicans will foist the Spanish language and the Roman Catholic Church on WASPs, er, scratch that, a lot of them already are bilingual, and make us look sick since we are only unilingual, and a lot of them are no more religious than my cunnilingual lesbian aunt. The Mexican government would never just dissolve away under some Pancho Yeltins since they're way more powerful than the Soviet Union, duh, scratch that and pass the Margaritas, who ever heard of a Mexican Tiger Tank? The whole idea might end Sacred Yankee Capitalism and replace it with a horrible Socialist state, er, like President Barack Obama has already given us with mucho help from Congress, scratch that too, we can elect a Republican like Sarah Palin or Newt Gingrich next time if we want.
And you Jews who run Jew York and Hollyweird should get on board too, the Spanish Inquisition is way too far back, and the pope already apologized in 2000, at least they started the millennium out right, now it's your turn to open up to the Megamerge View.
Ah, but I figured out the real objection, it's a step toward the apocalyptic One World Government run by Great Santana, with Journey music banned as too unsatanic, er, such a government would try to destroy U.S. sovereignty, and you're talking about extending it along with the rule of U.S. law, must be a trick, gimme some time and I'll come up with a good reason that your idea is nuts, TLW, and see ya in Gringo Hell. Mellow out, brother, there's plenty of room in Heaven and it's here on Earth after you use your brain and get over your hangups like I did. It's a great thing for the U.S., I ain't no politician, no political party is putting me up to it, I'm just a lone wolf prophet who wants credit and will accept any prize carrying a cash award, pick up the phone and call the Swedish Academy and forget what I said about Swedish accents, like Thomas Jefferson and John Adams I'm a genius, and now that you put your foot in your mouth too fast I don't need to share it with you, for the whitest whites and most vivid colors use detergent plus Megamerge Dissolution Solution Bleach.
But enough joking. I'm serious. More than serious. I'm weeping already, Cry for Me Argentina. It's the only serious way to go, indeed the only lasting solution, one that can last forever. Not just something that would be nice, but the inevitable solution that should be taken on and aced by the best minds to insure our future. If it can be done it should be done. It would be evil not to. Shut up, you might start something? I can't, my little voice won't let me, people are dying. Will you bear with me long enough to study my crap and at least reserve judgment until you've finished it, then check back with me and see if you don't agree that I've got it, everything is simple, everything is authentic, like Herdez Salsa, like a miracle happened, David TLWerfield, the most awarded mental musician in history, sign me up for an Emmy award as the mental magician of the Millennium, awesome, love the show, wanna see it again and again and again. Become a Dissolver, join the Dissolution Solution Team, and prepare for the coming Megamerge. Spaz headed to the Tumble Tubes, a new obstacle, release the sandbags, why do they call him Spaz?
But everybody is talking about the great problem the U.S.-Mexico border is? Humor me, and let's say that the border is indeed the problemo not the solution, ergo, dissolving the border is the solution, and will end the problemo. Am I full of it and if not what are my facts? What are the eagle-eye parameters of the landscape?
First, population. U.S.: 304 million, Mexico: 110 million, a megamerged U.S.: 414 million. Area: U.S.: 3.79 million square miles, Mexico: 762 thousand square miles, a megamerged U.S: 4.55 million square miles. For comparison: Russia: 142 million, 6.6 million square miles, Canada: 33.6 million, 3.85 million square miles, China: 1.32 billion, 3.7 million square miles.
Mexico could come into the U.S. as the 51st state, true, but that would make it the biggest state, and we already have enough 10-gallon hat Texans and wolf-plunking hockey mom Alaskan governors. I'm thinking that this is a new beginning, so the new megamerged U.S. could have anywhere from 60 to 75 states. Why 75? Mexico has 31 states now, it is true, but I'm thinking about the new megamerged U.S. Congress, and how it would be nicer if the "Extreme South" reps constituted no more than one-third, 25 of 75, giving them a nice swing vote but not enough to call all the shots, phased in to give us time to educate them out of their previous errors so they don't drag us down to their level. One state only could be dangerous in encouraging a future secession, which would become harder the more states it's split into. Splitting it into 10 states is fair since Mexico's only 20% of the size of the upper 50 in area. Maybe it should be split into 15 states, since that would give them about 25% of the total, equal to the current population ratio. Either way, small political details, easily handled during the negotiations, trust me, both sides have room for maneuver, it will be fun, yee-haw.
Please don't try to frame me. I'm not proposing a lame evil sinister North American Union a la Robert Alan Pastor, with fuzzy or open borders and three not-so-sovereign nations trying to work together via some kind of parliament, and Mexico having an equal vote, using it to drag us down to their level, you love me, you really love me not, do you wish you had sonic hearing sometimes, well now you can. I don't want any kind of government running the U.S. other than the one we have had, because it's the best, and deserves to be #1 forever. Sorry, it's got problems but it's the worst except for all of the rest, and if a U.N.-style One World Government is inevitable, then the U.S. needs to preserve its options as to the size of its chair on the Big Table, and there's nothing that says it can't grow to include new states, Megamerge brings peace to my digestive system, and me. With the Megamerge Dissolution Solution, Mexico won't be dragging us down to their level, we'll be pulling them up to ours, after we both extend our hands first. Separately the U.S. and Mexico and their pesky border have no future, but together they have a great future, as one, uno.
Next, mechanics. The Mexican government doesn't work, and never has. Why? It's like all former Spanish colonies, the 10% at the top have way too much power over the other 90%, there is enormous inequality of land ownership and wealth. Not that the U.S. is perfect, but it is way better, internally that is, I'm not talking about its sad record in Latin America so far. But going Commie like Cuba et al. ain't an option, sorry Fidel and Hugo, so, from a neutral point of view, if both countries had it as good as the U.S. does now, it would be better for the world, whether or not they united as one country before, during or after they get their new combo Web site from GoMegadaddy.com.
So, by mechanics I mean how how how? No, it's not a good idea for the U.S. to just go down and conquer Mexico, then force them to join, that's a loser's solution, ask the Soviet Union, they killed my grandmother and I'm going to fight for it against Osama? Never mind the U.S. Civil War, they already joined voluntarily and tried to renege. And the Mexicans who sneak around mumbling about a Reconquista, meaning taking lands back that were stolen by the gringos in the U.S.-Mexican War of 1846-8 by sheer squatting have another loser's solution, who wants the cruddy Mexican government to take over California and run it into the ground too, as do budding Castros and Ches who dream of some kind of peoples republic being set up by a guerrilla army puffing Cuban cigars, I already saw Red Dawn starring Patrick Swayze ten times and am proficient in five types of guerrilla weapons including water pistols.
Rather, we must respect law and order, and keep it peaceful, nobody gets hurt, no more grudges made, by creating political movements on both sides that want to work for the same goal, with the new U.S. states petitioning Congress for statehood and providing constitutions for approval, then electing governors and congresspeople, I guess they'll have to expand the seating space. This time the U.S. really is the Master Race, no, not White is Right, but Rainbow Edition, since its form of government has been field-tested and tuned-up for over 200 years to get rid of racial and other injustices, is user-supported and comes with a money-back guarantee, and yes, the petitions will be accepted if made in good faith, particularly if enough gringos move into the new states first to help set them up with their Yankee genius, give them that much, you know who you should talk to, that guy from Phoenix. It can't happen overnight, but a 5-year period sounds like a winner, no more than 10 or 15 years max, 20 at the outside even if everything goes wrong that can go wrong, humor me, I'm hoping for a miracle in people's hearts and minds, willkommen on board, welcome to Megamerge Airlines.
Yes, the transition period might cause some injustices to some little guys here and there, but think of the end result, a global island that is vastly more defensible in the event of a world war, Mexico, the soft underbelly of the U.S., let's hope not, we've been lucky so far, and a vibrant economy that might be double the combined economies of the separate countries one day, after all that U.S. capital pours down there along with the gringos, and creates new cities out of the desert, new Denvers, Dallases, San Diegos and Los Angeleses, pardon my French. More important, We the People still rule, and work via constitutional processes to govern ourselves better and better, God Bless America, including our new immigration policy vis a vis Bangladesh and the rest of the world.
Is the light going on yet? But you superior gringos are probably groaning, thinking that the flood would break, and your daughters would start dating Hispanics and converting to Catholicism and making that ahaha cry and dancing the Mexican hat dance. Think harder, they already do, who doesn't like to say salsa? And you superior Mexicans are probably groaning too, thinking that the flood would break, and your daughters would start dating gringos and converting to pagans and watching The L Word. Think hard, they already do, who doesn't have the Internet or cable TV?
The Extreme South would be like the Great American West used to be, sorry, I'm a historyscoper and love to make historical arguments, a new land of opportunity for white and all the other rainbow of Americans to find a new beginning, and instead of a flood going north, which we already have now, there would more likely be a flood of migration to the south, especially the yummy 5,800-mile coastline, no passports anymore, it's all one country, we're all fellow citizens, just think think thank and grow rich. Sure, at the outset the U.S. military and coast guard will have to move in and set up bases and forts to end the lawlessness, parts of Mexico are still as wild as the Old West, but after gringo children are born and grow up there, as genuine Americans, and think of it as their home, the old border that was holding their parents back will seem like a dead dinosaur of the antiquated dumbass past, I miss you mom, hello? And no, not all gringos like each other, anymore than all Mexicans like each other, that's why we have 50 states and they have 31, you already picked the one of your choice, including the umpteen million who voted with their feet to crash the U.S.-Mexico border, so after the megamerge there will still be plenty of pockets in all the states for incorrigible village racists of all stripes, right ese, who are the Wachowski brothers? But we will all be under the same federal laws and love our country and flag and want to participate in its democracy and fight for it, try messing with us now Osama, Dear Leader Kim Il-sung, and Imadinnajacket, Americans have already figured out that their village racism fades fast when they're sharing foxholes, who walks around and says I'm a liberal I'm a liberal I had my first orgasm during the Democratic Convention?
Petition for statehood? But won't the current Mexican government object? Yah, for about a minute. They'll most likely just want immunity for all their crimes and a chance to be eligible for election to the new U.S. government positions opening up. Mexicans aren't stupid, the elite included. Their opportunities will open up too, their horizons will be endless. We'll go from friends to fellow Romans and countrymen, so lend me your ears. We'll all be happier, no shit, what was that old U.S.-Mexico border thang, I'm cramming for my ancient history exam?
The megamerged Extreme South will see all the U.S. government machinery move in, including the military, legal and health care system, Social Security, Post Office, telephone, Internet and other communications, FDA, EPA, OSHA and civil rights agencies, along with U.S. corporations and franchises, ship anywhere in the U.S. for one price from Oaxaca to Alaska, and the good side of the Force will overwhelm the dark side in the end, and not really take that long either, it's the Internet age, things happen at electronic speed now, look at Susan Boyle and pass the alphabet soup, Simple Simon.
But this would make the U.S. into an empire rather than a republic? Not any more than when it grew from 13 to the current 50 states. If so, what was the point at which it became an empire? Duh, it stayed a republic, because it didn't conquer each new state by force, then send in an occupation army and keep the old border guarded, so that it was all one-sided and they could kick the occupied people down with eternal dual-level citizenship. Rather, each new state became part of the "E Pluribus Unum" (From Many, One) nation, with free migration sans internal borders, albeit for a long time each state government set up its own B.S. to either encourage or discourage new migrants, which was only officially ended in 1875 by the U.S. Supreme Court in Chy Lung v. Freeman, although it took to well into the 20th century for the federal government to grow so powerful that they can't get away with it anymore, like I said, the U.S. has evolved and is ready for Mexico now, where should they build the new Disney World? Don't tell me that some diehard Mexican nationalists will want to fight to not be free U.S. citizens, and will hole-up in the mountains hoping to reinstate a third world hellhole, their reservations at Disney World were a bargain and there was such a long waiting line, and how will they be able to keep their kids from applying to Princeton and Stanford and accept them peasant costumes again? Supersize me, all you can eat all day, is that the biggest size you got, it's pure gain for the Mexican people, other than a few fatcats who had it too good, let them eat torta.
And forget about English being the only official language except for maybe the proceedings of the U.S. Congress, if even that. The Spanish language is here to stay, as is the English language. The real question is, can we all pioneer a multicultural society without horrible race wars and all the other mistakes made in the rest of the world? Nobody can force you to switch from English to Spanish, we got computers that can translate for us already, and Spanish is easy to learn, since it's absorbed a zillion American words anyway, and is simpler and more logical, try it, they got gorgeous blonde babes in South America for you white dudes to make passes at later if you can't make it with a brown babe, and all young Spanish-speaking men and women have something to teach gringos about being laid-back and happy without selling out to the rat race, pass the Corona and lime, you have a date with a Disney dummy. Obviously, even after the megamerge the English speakers will far outnumber the Spanish speakers, and will have the lure of jobs and opportunity to attract them into learning English, let economics not governments determine who speaks what, guess who's got the upper mano, so don't get scared, get glad, our children will all have better computers than we do. Chances are the children of the Spanish-speaking megamerged citizens will include a much higher percentage of English speakers, no different than with the old waves of non-English-speaking immigrants from Europe, or did you think they had to pass an English test to get out of Ellis Island? So why are you so hepped up on Mexicans having to learn English before being granted citizenship? Does it start with r and end with ism?
But you skimmed over the number of new states problem? Okay, I'll add this observation. If the Extreme South gets too few U.S. Senators and Representatives to swing any weight, the gringo majority might tend to ignore them, thinking of the Extreme South as a ghetto for "them people", who are just being thrown a bone to keep them happy, hurting southward migration and ruining the whole scheme, so why do it? And if they ask for too many, the existing Congress isn't likely to go for it, so why go to all the trouble? But if they get just enough reps to swing some weight but not too much to upset the apple cart, smart gringo-Americans (notice the new term) will flock south along with their entire clans hoping to get themselves or their children elected to those positions if they can, causing the plan to work out beautifully, while Mexican-Americans will go to sleep with visions of a future Hispanic U.S. president dancing in their heads, improve your home's energy efficiency, call, click or visit Megamerged American Energy today.
But what if Mexico megamerges and no gringos move down there, and only Mexicans move north, as before? Because U.S. statehood is worth far more than can be put into words, Miracle-Merge Country Food, makes them grow twice as big, instead of holding them back they'll jump ahead. I guess nobody wanted to move to Texas, Arizona, New Mexico and California either, and no gringos will want to enjoy that 5,800-mile coastline. Remember when Texas split off from Mexico and was megamerged into the U.S., how they originally promised to split it into four states, and the U.S. never made them go through with it, resulting in the giant ego trip called the Texan, all 269 thousand square miles for one lone star? So start with 10 states, with an average of 76 thousand square miles each, a little smaller than Utah (85K), and as they prove they deserve more votes in Congress and have a high enough gringo population to be trusted, we'll allow them to split into more if they want, Mexicans are used to probation, sorry, just kidding, had to say that, just talking about misdemeanors. Since the U.S. government is not the one that's dissolving, and doesn't have the word gringo dumbass stamped on its forehead, it has a right to require that Mexico attain a certain gringo population (of all colors) as a condition for statehood and seats in the Congress, let's say 50%, one way is just 50 million Mexicans going north and 50 million gringos going south, get a bean jar and figure it out, this is a good time to invest in the moving van business. And this isn't a racist comment, just the reverse. It's the U.S. that has learned how to create a harmonious multiracial society, and Mexico had a single-party political system until 2000, a trap that any country with too high a proportion of one race finds hard to avoid, mea culpa, so its people will have to play catch-up in politics as well as education when the gringos move in, no problemo, it's not a housekeeping challenge that will bug them out, they're not bugs or aliens, they're healthy, they're good, they're fellow Americans. Time makes ties, it's hilarious.
Still think there's no reason for the U.S. to megamerge with Mexico, or that gringos wouldn't want to relocate there even if it were part of the Bliss? First, a little superfreak memory tour for history ignoramuses and geographic dummies. Mexico started out as a colony of Spain in 1521, mainly so they could force Indios into slave labor in silver mines then make a getaway with the loot on their Treasure Ships on the Spanish Main, see any Errol Flynn movie. After three hundred years of unspeakable horror it broke away in 1821, lamely trying to follow the U.S. model while the real U.S. was snubbing them, only to see-saw between the South American model of a ruling elite of Spanish fatcats allied with the military and Church that kept the poor Indio masses down, and populist regimes that started out promising permanent change then sold-out and joined the fatcats after they rushed emissaries laden with gold to the military commanders, oh boy, an all-new She's Got the Look. At least it hasn't gone Commie, yet, groan, I'm mercy with a splash of adventure, determined to find an answer to my acne, I'm supposed to be the hero not the jackass.
Too bad, the sawed-off Mexico should have never been its own country, because it has three strikes against it geographically. It just plain doesn't have the natural advantages of El Norte or South America, with only small chunks of land on the east coast that are useful for more than subsistence agriculture, separated by deserts and mountains, and it has no useful river transport system, plus a lot of the land is desert or jungle.
El Norte, on the other hand, is blessed with the world's largest contiguous mass of arable land in the Midwest, plus the greatest maritime transport system in the world, with the Mississippi River plus great harbors in New York Bay, Chesapeake Bay and San Francisco Bay covered in whipped cream, not to mention the great Intercoastal Waterway on the east coast and going around to Texas. The result is a giant crop-growing breadbasket no other country on Earth can match, which always insures that the U.S. economy is more recession-proof than anywhere else, as everything else builds on top of it, and actually has nothing to do with whites being superior to anybody, other than superior at stealing the land from the original Indians because they could pull the trigger faster than the Indians could shoot an arrow. This applies also to America's main rivals Russia and China, which are basically doomed to eternal near-starvation because of the lack of our giant breadbasket from God, and our second poor sister Canada, which is colder and has too many mountains, which should make all Americans even after the megamerge want to cut them all some slack with food shipments when they have bad harvests, we all have to share the world, and peace beats war.
So historically, to cut Mexico off from El Norte and call it another country was an eternal injustice, and was driven mainly by racism, not necessarily against Hispanics (a lot of British monarchs liked to wed Spanish babes, and what blonde leggy Betty Grable doesn't fall for a Latin lover?) but against the Indios (aborigines, duh, the original owners of the land), compounded by the Protestant-Catholic thing plus the language thing, even though I'm sorry to tell you that English descends from the languages of the wild uncivilized hairy Germans and Celts that destroyed ancient Rome, while Spanish descends from Latin, and, er, forget it. Historically, the problem the English had with the Spanish started with religion, and every English kid was reminded of the horrible 1588 Spanish Armada that tried to land in England and burn every Protestant alive until God sent some bad weather that proved He was on their side, and sent Shakespeare for good measure to prove that the English language was on their side too, and He even speaks English himself, in the King James Bible, screw Cervantes and the Latin Vulgate, hurry and return the evil idol to the burial ground of the ancient kings you pagan nitwits. Funny, but if English King Henry VIII's Spanish wife Catherine of Aragon had been more fecund in the early 1500s, or the weather had been good in the English Channel in 1588, all English monarchs might have been half-Spanish, England wouldn't have broken with the Catholic Church and started a 500-year cultural war with Spain, and North America might be filled with happy Spanish-speaking Anglo-Spanish-Africans, with English going the way of Gaelic.
The gringo racism against all Mexicans stems from the grudge experiences of the gringo Texans in the Remember the Alamo Days (1836), which started when they wouldn't accede to Mexico's 1829 abolition of slavery, causing them to steal a giant chunk of Mexico and set up their own country then join the slave-owning U.S., followed by the easy V the still slave-owning U.S. had over Mexico in the 1846-8 U.S.-Mexico War, where they came to a group decision that all beaners are inferior vermin until proved otherwise, but at least they allowed the Spanish in California to grandfather in during the 1850 statehood, with help from Zorro, which we might consider a model for us now, although back then the politics were all about whether it would be a free or slave state, as blacks were n-words back then to everybody.
Don't blame them gringos too much for their anti-Indio racism, look what they were doing to the Indians on their turf, what few they didn't massacre or otherwise waste they herded into the worst wastelands and left to starve and beg, no, they just played the not in my backyard game and let them ahaha Hispanics in Mexico have them, they can eat chicken feet, pig's ears and tripe and other parts their Euro lords discard, it's palatable with enough chile, so what if spicy food causes them all to die at 40, they are parents by age 14 anyway. And what is this brown skin thing with you so-called Spanish, weren't the original Spanish white mixed with a dash of Moor, and the aborigines red? I guess green as in Mexican wannabe gringo plus red equals brown, nyuk nyuk, and the Catholic Church with its infallible pope long before decided that one drop of white makes a mixed-race person white, while the pope-free Protestants in El Norte had just the opposite view, that one drop of non-white spoils the whole person and all their descendants, so the real border was in their minds and hearts, let's hope them days is over. I bet you didn't know that the word gringo comes from the days when the white rebel Texans used to sing English King Henry VIII's hit song "Green Grow the Hollies" around their campfires, and the Mexican scouts thought they were singing their national anthem, nyuk. Of course, they also had the word griego meaning Greek, so that Yankee talk was like Greek to them, and they added the n to it to make it into an n-word, and the song had nothing to do with it, not that we care anymore, since the attempt to make an n-word for whites fizzled and is now used by them too like Buckeye Chuck, Tumblewood Ted, and Aquafree Freddy :)
It was the Yankee gringos who have the original sin and basically sealed the border back in 1848 after stealing the top (best) half of Mexico for themselves via the grossly one-sided Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, that's 525,000 square miles for the low low price of $15 million, about $300 million in today's dollars, enough to buy a major league sports team and a box of trinkets shoved up their you know whats, all at gunpoint. No, they didn't exactly steal it, but paid them to leave the territory permanently as an inferior race not good enough to live in the expanding whites-only homeland, like they had done to other American Indian tribes under the 1830 Indian Removal Act, with the added complication that now there were a number of white Spanish they wanted out for historical reasons mentioned above, and the size of the land grab was colossal, so the so-called nation of laws had to paper it over with enough B.S. to make it look good. Of course, it was a dirty deal contract signed under duress, and if there had been a World Court they could have had it invalidated, maybe U.S. secretary of state Hillary Clinton should remember that when she recommends the U.S. join it now. Not that Mexico didn't steal their territory from Spain, who stole it from the aborigines, although Mexico is full of aborigines so who's zooming who, but I'm trying to find a way to heal all wounds and grudges, so why stay up nights trying to justify the actions of long-dead people when we can just make a new beginning sans racism and white supremacy?
Oh yes, after forcing Mexico to its knees, the Yankee gringos toyed with the All Mexico Movement, a plan to annex all of Mexico by force, probably without paying a dime, along with expelling the Spanish, they had the power, but they soon dumped it because of pure naked white supremacist racism, back in the days when there were no PC police to worry about. In the words of South Carolina Sen. John Caldwell Calhoun: "[W]e have never dreamt of incorporating into our Union any but the Caucasian race — the free white race. To incorporate Mexico would be the very first instance of the kind of incorporating an Indian race; for more than half of the Mexicans are Indians, and the other is composed chiefly of mixed tribes." In other words, too many of them Indios to exterminate or herd into reservations like in El Norte, plus they weren't naked pagans anymore but devout Catholics, hence they might end up marrying your white son or daughter, so Manifest Destiny would have to have a sealed southern border, pffft. Lucky they hadn't invented gasoline and diesel engines yet and it was no fun crossing the huge deserts along a lot of the border on foot, and at least only good swimmers could handle the Rio Grande, and when they arrived they'd have er, wet backs to give them away, as if they could afford to go to Berlitz and learn English to blend in, ha ha a double whammy on them bean breaths. Having won that battle, Calhoun went on to preach white racial purity and the enslavement of blacks until he got what he wanted, secession of the Whiter Than Crisco Confederate States of America followed by what he didn't want, the horrible U.S. Civil War, where whites slaughtered whites while the blacks and browns watched and stepped up their family sizes, and Irish flooded into New York so they could act as extras in a Martin Scorsese movie.
Too bad, when the North won the Civil War, and forced the South back into the U.S. with black slaves set free as U.S. citizens, the gringo-run U.S. government conveniently forgot to fix the 1848 Apartheid, preferring to invite Euros like Ronald Reagan, Vito Corleone, Lewis B. Mayer and Ahnuld Strong AKA Hercules of New York to immigrate over the Pond, the ability to speaka da English being optional as long as they weren't brown, while treating beaners like trash that weren't good enough to apply, except for temporary work permits, I guess they hoped that they'd love eternal subsistence agriculture and de facto apartheid from the galloping masses of new imports moving into El Norte via New York, with the Hispanic elite left to lord it over them and live like royalty, and never dreamed that they would or could breed past 10 million or so, which they didn't until just before 1900, after which whose fault is it, theirs or ours, ask all them megafood corporations based in New Jersey who could relabel their products in Spanish, just seal and forget, leaks and all, never mind the botulism. Yes, we had a safety valve called the brain drain, send all your elite educated problem solvers to El Norte so the problems of Mexico can fester worse than ever, what's up smart, just being smart with pretendimagringo.com, pffft.
Ah yes, the territory the gringos took didn't have that many Mexicans on it at the time, so that must make it all right, what am I doing, spitting on my forefathers' graves? But if so, now that gringos gave up breeding like rabbits, and the Mexican population is zooming, it should be all right for them to take it back, here's a sports team, now vacate the premises or this means war, we got a deal with half the world to help us? Come on, there's a way to share and share alike sans hostilities or inviting outsiders to get involved. If all of our forefathers could speak from the grave it would be to tell us that war only makes the problems worse. What is the purpose of government? Only to make war? Or to help us live in peace? Ask your forefathers.
It's so sad that even though white supremacy is kaput in the U.S., its legacy is still with us, allowing a loud minority of hardcore white supremacists to co-opt the debate by shouting the term "illegal aliens" to stifle reasoning like mine. Talking about the term illegal aliens, it was the white-is-right racist dinosaur version of the U.S. that invented the very idea with their infamous 1882 Chinese Exclusion Act. Funny, but it wasn't about blacks or even browns. Nobody was thinking of importing yet more blacks from Africa to the U.S. as laborers, and even the gringo-run U.S. government knew they couldn't get away with it with their next-door neighbors down south because of the 1,969-mi. border, so they picked on the Chinese, since that was easy, they were a whole different color, yellow, easy to spot, why does Yoko have slanted eyes, from asking John "Suck what?", and were at their total mercy, with only a trickle of ships coming in and nobody to watch their back, quick, pull them pigtails. Who was the U.S. president back then, I bet you don't know. Chester Alan Friggin Arthur, a Republican, like we give a bean fart now. (He was the subject of the first birther conspiracy, long before Pres. Obama, hehe). Later, after the advent of giant battleships and destroyers turned the Pacific into a battefield, the U.S. broke its own white-yellow color line by annexing Hawaii, by force, in order to maintain a strategic naval base there. I guess them gringos who broke the color line were spitting on their forefathers' graves too, when it served their purpose. For a few decades at least they must have hoped that non-whites there wouldn't want to leave blue lagoon paradise to migrate to California just to compete with beaners for jobs picking crops, opportunity, at Amway opportunity is our business, for the Diamond Distributors that is, see ya at the top suckah and brush them zoobies with our gleaming white toothpaste.
It's the 21st century, guys and dolls, and TLW hopes you are past all that racism by now in an era when they're moving in from all 57 million square miles of the Earth's landmass, at a trickle compared to Mexico, sure, but everybody is a click away now, in all their native languages, so get used to it. Did I say that white supremacy is kaput yet, worldwide? Why try to chain the U.S. and its future to that doomed ship? Borders are about militaries. As long as their military can't defeat our military here in our homeland and conquer us, we still have the right to decide who can legally immigrate, that is, if we have the heart to use it, which in Mexico's case we haven't, even when white supremacists ran everything, and never will, because we know down deep that we have been failing to treat them like the family they are, and were just playing a delaying game and receiving the overflow anyway, pass the clothespins.
So sawed-off Mexico as a separate country is eternally doomed and damned to near-starvation and dependency on El Norte, and would be a third world country probably even if it were pure gringos, and this is eternally unjust and unfair. Mocking their backwardness and poverty is so dishonest, because if they still had all that territory taken in 1848, including California and its gold and ports and lush farmland, they might be richer than the gringos. As the World's Numero Uno Hope and Moral Example (forget GW Bush, he was a fluke) we can't let this injustice go on anymore, it's time to correct the 1848 mistake, ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country, America, the time for change has come. If the U.S. would just get it over with and invite Mexico to join it as the "51st state" (10+ states), all legal B.S. pushed aside, and let the populations accept each others' existence and redistribute naturally, with race, religion, language and culture left to take care of themselves as too trivial to get worked up over anymore, our forefathers would rest easier in their graves. Yes, millions of Mexicans will move into El Norte, they already have, but millions of well-fed gringos would indubitably (as in just try to stop them) prefer to live in the sunny climes of Mexico and enjoy desert air and jungle adventures, as long as their food supplies are secure, nobody's trying to take the gringos' farms away from them in the Midwest and kill the golden goose are they? Hence in the long run it's likely that the Extreme South will boom with new cities full of hi-tech people combined with manufacturing plants using the initially cheaper labor supply, with the U.S. education system bringing whole new generations of Mexican-Americans to a competitive level in calculus like Edward James Olmos as time flies, take the derivative of that equation, insuring the continuing #1 position of the U.S. for the next century or two, until Star Trek comes and we can join the Space Federation. Imagine a new super-university in the Extreme South that causes a brain drain and makes Harvard, Yale, Stanford and MIT look sick, and how you made it possible for your grandchildren to attend at in-state tuition rates.
I'm so stupid I'd starve in a grocery store? This is the stupidest idea you've ever heard? Sorry, I'm smarter than you, and got this bad habit called thinking, and I've done more of it than most, anybody actually. Maybe it's the smartest idea you've ever heard, now why don't you think for a second? What is man never able to make more of, no matter the economy? Answer: real estate. Developing all that 762 thousand square miles of real estate, that the U.S. can call its own, tell me you don't see the mutual advantage of a megamerge, what is the recognized abbreviation for a type of degree awarded to graduate students with pretty huge dumbass stamped on their foreheads. Even if I wasn't the world's greatest genius, I wouldn't need a J.D. degree to see that all the legal obstacles can be swept away by the U.S. Congress in one yard-thick mega-act no thicker than Obama's health care plan, and a few hundred billion or trillion borrowed from the Chinese or some other countries to float it, since they'd know the U.S. GDP would grow and they'd be better able to pay back all the prior trillions still on account, if you can't afford your medication, AstraAzteca can help.
But you're failing to recognize the threat of their invasion, and it's time to get out the guns and save the country before we're overwhelmed by the invaders, the only good alien is a dead alien, lock and load? Sorry, you've been watching too many old movies on TV. The Mexicans are not the Huns. Speaking of old movies, remember that cool 1956 sci-fi flick Forbidden Planet, starring cerebral-looking Shakespearean actor Walter Pidgeon, hot blonde Anne Francis, and young buck Leslie Nielsen? The space rangers had to set up a force field wall to keep the horrible monster out of their camp, only to find out that Dr. Morbius had been generating it all along from his own deep-seated hatreds about some dirty inferior illegal alien space ranger getting his hands on his virginal and eager lily-white daughter Altaira. Well, welcome to today. The horrible monster from Mexico keeps attacking the force field, and no matter how strong we make it they get stronger, coming through time and again. Why? Because it's a mirror reflection of our own racism, that we started with the 1848 Apartheid, and stubbornly maintained for over 160 years, and now the chickens are coming home to roost. We started it, and it's up to us to end it, by first looking in the mirror and seeing the real monster, our racist deep psyche, and overcoming it, starting by tearing down the force field and reaching out and inviting the Mexican people to join the U.S. as equal citizens, while controlling the action as to what's really worth keeping, namely our wonderful U.S. Constitution, Bill of Rights and all, but dropping the Anglophile B.S. and requirements to go gaga at Shakespeare and weak-kneed at the sight of Queen Elizabeth II. A bilingual nation can work, why shouldn't we try it? It's not like we have thousands of years of religious hate to overcome, no, just silly outdated racism and a minor language difference, it's not Chinese or a click language, no problemo, hasta la vista baby, even Ahnuld could do it. On their side, do they really need them worthless pesos or their dull Mexican national anthem? I think they can let them go for Yankee dollars and the U.S. anthem Jose Can You See.
I bet if you're a diehard white supremacist you'll try calling me a traitor, some already have. Funny, but treason is defined as aiding our enemies in war, and one, Mexicans are our allies, and two, we're at peace. Let's say that the U.S. and Mexico do megamerge, and now I'm a bicultural saint and icon. What are you diehard you know whats going to do then, try to secede a part of the northwest and set up your own whites-only English-only no-illegal-aliens-allowed country? Then you'll be the traitors and illegal aliens, won't ya? What are you going to do to survive, strike a deal with Russia to put nukes on your territory aimed at Washington, D.C.? Are you going to also make it for Christians only, and why stop there, why not only Protestants, I'm sure Jews especially won't be welcome, and why stop there, no Irish Micks, Eastern Europeans, Italian Wops, Polish Pollocks, Greeks, Russians, Indians from India, Lebanese, let's set up a database like al-Qaida? You're so sick it makes me puke, sorry, even though I'm white myself and my mother was a Methodist and I can trace my line back to the Mayflower. Now let's simmer down and get back to calm cool reason.
But why not just leave things the way they are? Why inherit Mexico's problems? Because we already have, and it's too dirty to continue to do nothing. Face it, there's so many millions of Mexicans living in the U.S. now that attempting to sort them into legals and illegals is counterproductive, as is trying to keep treating Mexico as a separate country. Do you just let a baby shit its diaper and refuse to change it, thinking that if it shits a second or hundredth time the overflow can just be handled naturally by rats, cockroaches and pigeons? If you love your baby you change its diaper every time, and give it plenty of baths, and feed, clothe and love it, and help it grow up straight. Whatsa matter, you gringos don't love Mexicans? Sad to say, it's hard to believe you do. Maybe it's buried deep in your psyches. Do I have to look up all the dirt for you?
For many generations Mexicans have illegally crossed the border into the U.S., are you blind? And why shouldn't they? They're not dumb. Not only is it close, with no natural geographic borders, like with Scotland and England, read my lips, no natural geographic borders, Erin Go Bragh, but the difference in the quality of life is like night and day for all but the elite, crossing from a third world nation into Numero Uno, Top Model, a well-fed country with literally millions of empty acres and giant cities eager for their labor. And the U.S. government played a double game of officially looking the other way as long as employers needed so-called migrant laborers, non-entities they could use for sweat labor and pay peanuts to, with the understanding that they were personae non grata and better return to their familias after the season ends and not hang around to court their Altairas.
Too bad, the Americans' own propaganda constantly preached the American Dream, which is not to be a loafer but to get a job, start a business, be somebody, and have a family that does ditto. Too bad, that dream only apparently applied to those mainly ethnic whiteys coming in via the Statue of Liberty on a creaky boat the legal way so they could be deloused and put on the official register first, with their names spelled the American way by the immigration official, who can summarily stamp their papers with reject and have them shoved onto the next boat back. Sorry, but the 1,969-mile U.S.-Mexico border isn't so nice and neat, and those options aren't available. I prefer to believe the Statue of Liberty applies to all the shores and even the desert borders, we're the Great Beacon of Hope if you can get here, thus there is no illegal immigration when it comes to our next-door neighbors, there's just a dire lack of Ellis Islands, think of it as the right to sanctuary once you touch down inside Da Border, so let's forget the formalities and let them come freely to papa, Uncle Sam, I'm in the lap of luxury.
Talk about dream, they're not asking to move into Beverly Hills and shop on Rodeo Drive like Julia Roberts. For many Mexicans, just getting a low wage job in El Norte would boost their standard of living because of all the free government services they can sign up for, feel good, pay less. So if you weren't born rich in Mexico, you must have been born stupid not to try it, beautiful feet, find a border a near you. And guess what? Us stupid gringos got into a bad habit of actually hiring them for jobs other than seasonal field work, documented or not. They make good housekeepers, nannies, gardeners, drivers and warehouse workers, and proved irresistible even if it messed up our chances for being nominated to high government posts later. And the U.S. government eagerly accepted their income taxes, even issuing special tax ID numbers in lieu of Social Security numbers. I guess we're the stupid ones, cluck cluck? So what if the U.S. was evolving at the same time into a welfare state, that's a thing we can fine tune at any time, but the 160-year-old 1848 Apartheid is getting to be a bigger monster at the force field every day, so face up to it by looking, not at the monster at the border, but in your mirrors while you're washing the nasty brown off your lily-white faces.
But it's only a recent problemo, and you're reaching to try to trace it back 160 years, even if you are a historyscoper and can trace your own line back to the Mayflower? Yes, the really big immigrant influx began in the Reagan 1980s, I guessed they watched Gunsmoke, Bonanza, and Little House on the Prairie, and believed that if an actor could be president anything really is possible here and that the bad racist gringos always lose in the end, and was not limited to one specific region, but came from communities throughout Mexico, big cities such as Mexico City, Guadalajara, and Monterrey, as well as the smaller towns and pueblos, where agriculture and small business is the main employment, try the fried iguana and the mescal with the worm in it. No, they weren't all grape and lettuce picking material, lots of them could work at Taco Bells and really make change, and construction, especially them hot summer roofing jobs, seems like they're back home, just let them have their siestas and ice cream trucks with one dollar fruit palettas, and don't get too worked up over the graffiti, it's amazing art and you should be paying them for it, what's that green thing sticking out, I think it's a ramp.
And what did the Republican gringo cowboy actor president Ronald Reagan do about them, order them rounded up and shipped out by the millions like Eisenhower did in the 1950s? Hell no, he knew they'd just sneak back, and become dyed-in-the-wool Democrats, so he got them granted amnesty, hoping they'd all become Republicans, especially since he could speak a little of la idioma himself and thought everybody adored him for bringing down Soviet Communism. Too bad, he didn't comprehend that he was fixing the symptoms not the disease, so 20 years later guess what the George W. Bush administration and now the Obama administration are talking about doing? Legalizing the millions of so-called illegal immigrants among us, so they will all become Democrats.
I have to take exception to this whole debate going on now. What does "illegal" mean anyway when we're talking about our next-door neighbors? I won't admit it in court without my lawyer present, but I might jaywalk all the time, in my own neighborhood, and that's illegal too. But it's a victimless crime, as is so-called illegal immigration. No, it's a victim trying to stop the crime, by jaywalking to a better country right next door with a zillion-times better government, so give them a ticket, how much should it be, ten bucks? If you're a stinking racist you'll use any verbal subterfuge to get what you want, which is to declare people illegal, no, more than illegal, criminals, by focusing on their presence rather than just their acts so you can portray them as devils who committed an unforgivable crime by just coming here then ultimately deport them at gunpoint even if they're angels, okay, play your mind games, I might go for it if they're Muslim fundamentalists from Yemen but you'll never get it past me when it comes to our next-door neighbors. Give all them alien jaywalkers tickets so some rich man like Steven Spielberg or Bill Gates can wipe his ass with it, and leave them alone. And why do some Americans take it personally? Their so-called crime and its punishment are between them and the government, which can and already has once granted mass amnesty, and anytime they commit a real felony we got tons of police with all the tools. Not that I'm here to plug the ACLU, so let's forget the above and just note that anything the government makes illegal it can make legal. It's irrelevant to the big picture, namely, that our Mexican neighbors are solutions, not problems, if we only get rid of the real problem, da *!?!* border, and let all Mexicans come under U.S. law permanently, certified Grade A Legal.
But it's not the illegal thing, it's their undesirability? Oh sure, if you're a Mexican with a Ph.D. or M.D., you get an automatic free pass, you're almost as good as a gringo and you probably charge less, it's just the rest of them uneducated ones that don't have the advantages of our great 9th rate school system that are undesirable ail-ee-yuns. Okay, the average Mexican wage right now is about $4.15 an hour, with those in the agricultural industry making even less, forcing entire families to work to get by, so who has time to go to school anyway, are you blaming them for wanting to eat? Currently about 40% of the Mexican population are below the poverty line. Unemployment is officially about 4%, but it is estimated (I have to say it, by the CIA) that nearly 25% of the working are really underemployed. Let's not quibble about Mexicans not being qualified to take the really good jobs from gringos, they don't have the education, yet, and gringos do, there's no scenario where an Mexican farm worker is gonna get away with setting up a cancer clinic just so he can afford a Beemer. Which is just the point. What would gringos do without fresh new meat to do the manual labor and grunt jobs? We need each other, whadya want to do, import more Chinese? Er, scratch that, they work quite well in China now and we owe them half our country, with the other half payable by our kids as interest.
But why not just let illegal aliens send their kids to college or the military first, plus pay a lot of money to earn their citizenship, along with a ton of other bureaucratic requirements that hopefully create a gauntlet slowing their citizenship down? Wouldn't that be great, paying a year's wages they haven't got to ransom themselves, having to lie that they never committed a crime when they're supposed to think that crossing the border was crime one, or having to risk death in Afghanistan to prove they're as good as others who just happened to be lucky enough to be born here from legal immigrants, whose ancestors might have been Indian fighters like John Wayne? You know what you're really trying to do, make these new second class citizens automatically think they're better than their own relatives back in Mexico, and glad to man the border patrol and shoot them if they flee La Migra. It's sick. Imagine when there is no U.S.-Mexico border anymore, because there is no Mexican government, just the U.S. government, and the interstate highways go north-south not just east-west, from Alaska to Chiapas, and Baja California to New York. Where's the horrible problem of the pesky alien invasion now? An alien invasion of non-soldiers who want to do construction, gardening and other jobs, gimme a break, America is an auto nation, we love our cars and trucks, it's time we change the way we buy them. Take a good look in the mirror, it could keep you healthy.
But after they sneak into the U.S. they soak up welfare benefits, shiver me timbers? Yet another point in favor of the Megamerge Dissolution Solution, since once Mexico is part of the U.S., not only will the U.S. government get all former Mexican government lands and resources, including Pemex, the Mexican oil monopoly, but the Mexican people already pay taxes to the Mexican government, so now they will be paying to the U.S. government instead, and now everybody will be legal and documented, nobody will fall through the cracks anymore, especially the Mexican fatcats, who currently can launder their money in U.S. banks to avoid taxes, and the debate about welfare can go on in all 60-75 state legislatures plus the U.S. Congress, since welfare is paid by guess what, taxes. There's nothing stopping Mexican-Americans from becoming conservative Republicans who want to fight the welfare state, is there? Not to mention that now at least a lot of illegal aliens steal Social Security numbers of real U.S. citizens to get a job, and end up paying into their accounts without getting anything for themselves. So it'll be fair to all, ai chihuahua.
But not so fast. Why don't we just tolerate the undocumented and keep two separate countries, just increase trade? Didn't we already bend over backwards to set up more trade with "them", double quotes puleese? The North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) of 1994 has brought more U.S. companies into Mexico, true, but not without grumbling by U.S. unions, and the jobs that have been created are way too few, and wages are a ripoff based on the ability to get away with it because there's no U.S. laws to worry about, causing the need for illegal immigration to continue, and no doubt increasing resentment by diehard Mexican nationalists that the Yankees only want to exploit them, smell like a father figure to you?
The giant question is waste. Why leave the giant terrority down there undeveloped, and think of the border as a unidirectional sieve, with all debate slanted to loosening or tightening it? Make the border go poof and guess what, nothing bad will happen! Let the underemployed in the U.S. flock in and turn it into their new gig. Think of all the recent college grads in the U.S. having to settle for high school level jobs, I bet I could think of a job for them in the new Extreme South. Imagine all them eager young minds turning it into a Gen X-Y-Zed wonderland, maybe a new Silicon Valley somewhere there's great surfing. As for the blue collar workers, maybe the Extreme South can ramp up manufacturing and steal some of the action from China, for instance in automobile manufacturing, imagine a new Detroit Dos down there manned by genuine U.S. citizens that captures the South American, Asian, African and maybe European markets, and drives our balance of trade into the black, there' s plenty of space for parking and condos with jungle views are available on easy terms. And what gringo still wants to live in freezing polluted Detroit or Buffalo anyway since Lucy and Desi left New York for Hollyweird? Yes, there is Sunny California, if you like living on the San Andreas Fault and are as macho as Ahnuld, I'm the ham you're the cheese. Let's integrate the whole should-I-say-enchilada into our system and expand the good life down to the tip of Central America, then go ahead and megamerge them later, and even entertain South America one day if they want to join up in a real United States of America, plus Canada anytime they ask, not to mention some Caribbean islands. A self-sufficient country full of happy prosperous people is one thing, an ailing failed backward country whose people are ready to go through Hell to come here is another, and if they're already next-door neighbors, our answer to megamerge should be si si yes yes yes. Live it big, shoot it out, keep it real, and set up more Internet coverage so everybody can get all the education they want even out in the fields, and give them poor people our used iPods if they can't afford the latest, electronics makes for cheaper home schooling, one day some of the smartest people you know might be Mexican-American.Too bad, the U.S. that needs the Mexican workers is now going the wrong way, making it increasingly difficult to sneak into with hi-tech, walls, and guards, all of which cost big bucks, and for what purpose? Because we don't need Mexican workers? Or because they need to apply for guest worker permits first, and ask real nicely? What's next, putting yellow Stars of Jose Can You See on them all and forcing them to wear stripey suits and run around the yard regularly to see if they are fit and don't have to be sent to the Death Camps? Gag me with a spoon, but the whole idea of "guest workers" stinks. They're okay to stay permanently, really, Hitler's dead, Americans like us went out and died to stop him and his Master Race 65 years ago so we could return and act like white supremacist dumbasses until our kids bitch-slapped us out of it.
Making them have to fit into a degrading guest worker system sucks, and I don't blame Mexicans for sneaking over the border, who really does? Speaking of wolves, coyotes and other wildlife at the border that feed on human carrion, too bad, they used to be able to brave it by foot, but now that the U.S. has gone xeno and set up a wall and hi-tech equipment with ever-more border guards, it's getting more impossible not to have to pay for the assistance of a "coyote" or smuggler, not a saint like in the days of the Underground Railroad, but a lowlife vermin with insider knowledge about crossing the border who probably gives payola to the right guards to look the other way. Of course, the price of the coyote is despicably high, and they mistreat their customers like mangy cattle, but their price has to include the price to beat the law enforcement, plus insurance against getting caught and having to do time. Lucky for them all, Americans are still for sale, keep dreaming that American Dream, grunt. But how stupid to let these parasite middlemen into the equation. If they keep it up they will become rich and buy all the law enforcement and move into your exclusive gringo neighborhoods and buy the politicians anyway, won't they? To avoid a potentially serious complication, tell your border doctor if your border immune system is unusual.
And why does anybody have to die? After the desirable crossing areas in California were concentrated on by border agents, the coyotes have switched to desert areas, in Arizona particularly, no, not Winslow, Arizona, that's up north. Too bad, this leads to horror stories of death through dehydration and sun exposure, see the movie "Babel" and check back with me. What a mean way to die the gringos have been imposing on Mexicans, what if they suddenly turn on us and become bitter enemies who set up ammo dumps in the desert and sneak in at night and blow us up and don't want to play ball and negotiate for citizenship anymore?
Once a Mexican immigrant successfully crosses the border into the United States, he generally has two main goals, one, to overthrow the U.S. government by force, just kidding, one, to send part of their earnings back home to their family, and two, to bring more family members to be with them in the U.S. A distant third is to gain permanent legal residency (a green card), and possibly even U.S. citizenship status, although there are many who just want to save enough money to buy a house or set up their own business after returning to Mexico, a process which is far easier, grin. Really, most people want to live where they were born, and that's just why it's stupid to have a border patrol in the long run, because it has to look the other way when they return. Now imagine if millions of gringos were born in the Extreme South, and you tried to fence them out of Arizona, pass the Arizona Tea.
And despite tens of millions of Mexicans living in the U.S. anywhere they want pretty much now, did that cause real U.S. law to disappear? It's still a felony to attempt to steal a gringo's land and home and move in without paying, or to murder to get what one wants, and last time I checked there's more cops on duty than ever. Despite a hard core of bad guys, which the law will handle, in time, especially after their border escape route evaporates, most Mexicans are good decent law-abiding people, who pretty much pay their way, and would like their children to grow up to be ditto, hopefully in a world free of racism, so there, nyaaa.
What's wrong with the current country of Mexico anyway? Let's check a few statistics.
Mexico has a free market economy that recently passed the one trillion dollar mark, while the U.S. economy has a whole 'nother decimal place on it. It contains a mixture of modern and outmoded industry and agriculture, increasingly dominated by the private sector as past attempts at socialism are being abandoned. Recently the government has expanded competition in seaports, railroads, telecommunications, electricity generation, natural gas distribution, and airports, but face it, per capita income is 25% that in the U.S., meaning it takes them a year to make what we make in 3 months, so what if we have to work 4-5 months to pay our taxes, and income distribution is way more unequal, with the age-old Spanish vs. Indian thingie still a big problemo, ask Subcomandante Marcos. Trade with the U.S. and Canada has tripled since the implementation of NAFTA in 1994, and Mexico has 12 free trade agreements with over 40 countries, including Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador, the European Free Trade Area, and Japan, putting more than 90% of trade under free trade agreements. In 2007, during his first year in office, Mexican president Felipe Calderon was able to pass a pension along with fiscal reform, but he continues to face mucho economic challenges including the need to upgrade infrastructure, modernize labor laws, and allow private investment in the energy sector, and he has stated that his top economic priorities remain reduction of poverty and job creation, yah, getting more Mexicans into the U.S. who send money back, and more U.S. companies into Mexico paying wages higher than the drug lords do, which is imposible, verdad?
Big surprise, since 2009 the U.S. press has been talking about Mexico being a failed state as the drug lords corrupt every Mexican official below Calderon, and the 2009 Mexican Flu Outbreak shows the problem of lack of U.S. health standards and how it not only walks right into the U.S. and kills babies in Houston, but threatens the health of the world. Gimme a break, Calderon's top priority should be getting the Megamerge Dissolution Solution into place and making room for the Porta Potties and earth movers as giant U.S. capital along with muchos gringos flow in to build new cities out of dirt that will be teeming with jobs and cool night life, while the new U.S. state governments raise all the standards, and the megamerged U.S. military finishes off them pesky Mexican drug lords like Heisenberg and Tortuga, watch that IED-carrying tortoise.
Tell me how he died, no tell me how he lived, and so the days of the Gringo Samurai ended? A sudden megamerge would swamp the U.S. in 100 million dirt-poor peasants, dragging it down? How would that work, they'd all just abandon their ancestral villages, lands and cemetery plots and jump on the back of the trains and push each other off after they get to El Norte without anywhere to live, hoping to line up at a soup kitchen, when they know the border is gone and tons of gringos are coming down to move in, hiking up land prices? Remember the Beverly Hillbillies? What was keeping all them other Appalachian hillbillies from getting in their jalopies and heading for Beverly Hills with them, I didn't see any border patrol? Duh, no rich gringos had come in and paid for their dirt-poor land with big bucks yet. And did they call Jed Clampett an illegal alien at the bank, or yes sir? I'm not kidding around, I mean business, poor people don't pull up roots and migrate unless they're totally starving and have no choice, and must brave death, plus have an expectation of being able to find a way to support themselves where they're going. Duh, that's why so many Mexicans have come to the U.S. already, and just why the Megamerge Dissolution Solution is the answer, it's serious and I've thought it out, I'm kinda smart, it's not just a reaction to some tear-jerker movie I saw, not that I didn't jerk my own share of tears. The U.S. is always going to automatically help out starving people inside our borders, regardless of how they got here, that's a given, read the Bible and its advice to be kind to sojourners, our nation has a big heart and will not tolerate bony corpses lying in the street, the Nazis never win here, don't let Monster find the job for you.
The true problem in Mexico is poverty, therefore, that's where any solution must start, at the source. And the solution is so obvious, like the nose on your face. D-E-V-E-L-O-P M-E-X-I-C-O! How, we already tried NAFTA and it didn't work, we can't give our country away? I've been telling you how. Make Mexico part of the U.S., and make migration a free 2-way affair, we're both giving our countries away at the same time, in order to receive them back again cured of their ills. The Appalachians don't have the size and suitability for new major cities that Mexico has, Mexico has, Mexico has. Read that again and again and again, am I so smart and everybody else so dumb, or didn't I push enough of your hot buttons yet, my heart is saying go with D, a carton of eggs.
But they're breaking the law? If the law don't work then change the law. Better, use the law, the one already used by all 50 existing states when they joined, if kinky Hawaii can do it what's Mexico's excuse? Each hopeful new state would have to petition for statehood and provide a constitution, and Congress would have to approve it, which would take years, writing and rewriting, there's a lot of political and legal work to do, during which time mutual interchange of advisers and population, plus likely infusion of U.S. capital would prepare for it, no surprises. The best case is for all 31 former Mexican states to be incorporated at the same time, dissolving the border overnight like a magic wand, book my reservations for the celebration. There will be no Oklahama Land Rush to the north, because Uncle Sam won't likely be giving everybody 100 acres and a mule, but more likely one to the south, as more developed gringo-Americans head down to the new certified U.S. land of opportunity with U.S. dollars in their pockets, buying their way in and building new cities out of the sand that will have plenty of jobs for the less developed Mexican-Americans, which they will eagerly line up for, even moving back down south to get in line.
And don't forget about all those Mexican natural resources that they would bring into the equation, such as their giant sea catch, huge areas suitable for grazing livestock or harvesting wind power, and the Chiapas-Tabasco Oil Field, largest in the Western Hemisphere (66 billion proven barrels, and up to 120 billion barrels waiting to prove), you're invited to an exclusive VIP reception with host Pancho Villa. Or would you rather keep letting greedy Mexican fatcats like Carlos Slim Helu (1940-) sap the nation's wealth and get richer than Bill Gates (who is at least planning on giving most of it to charity) while the rest of the Mexicans grovel in poverty and are zapped at the Brownsville Wall by robot Terminators, like racist organizations posing as patriotic American freedom fighters would like? Listen to moi, killing innocent people sucks eggplant, and has always backfired bigtime throughout history, why do you always cheer for the freedom fighters in every movie. Invest in people, it's the best payback in every way.
I know, you're going to tell me that the Berlin Wall was set up by evil Commies to keep their people from fleeing to freedom, while our Brownsville Wall is being set up to, er, you're sick, wake up, you're just letting racism get the better of ya. It wasn't some Commie but President Nixon who once (1970) said "We share a 2,000-mile common border, one of the longest in the world. That border we can say today is not a wall that divides us, but a bridge of friendship which unites us." Er, forget that, his Republican Party of Lincoln parted ranks with him and turned into the equivalent of white flight to the suburbs in the Reagan-Bush era, and now has to reach way back to its roots to remember what it was originally about, doesn't it, wink?
Did I mention Abraham Lincoln? He actually got his start in politics in Illinois in December, 1847 as a U.S. Congressman spending his term trying to stop the U.S.-Mexico War, claiming that the U.S. was the aggressor for invading Mexico, and introducing Spot Resolutions calling on Pres. Polk to name the spot where American blood had been shed on U.S. soil first, causing him to be called a traitor by the white supremacist slave-owners who dominated Congress back then. After failing to stop their giant screwing of their southern neighbors, you know how he got even after he became president in 1861. And so did Mexico, on May 5 (Cinco de Mayo), 1862, when Indio leader Benito Juarez and a ragtag army of farmers with machetes and antiquated rifles defeated a larger French army working for French-backed Austrian cactus emperor Maximilian I at the Battle of Puebla, cutting off the Confederate rebels' southern supply lines and insuring their defeat, so yes, I'd be glad to spit on the graves of them Confederate ninnies who actually killed other whites so they could keep enslaving helpless blacks, and whose own stubborn white supremacy caused them to lose every friend until they were crushed like cockroaches, and now I hope history has taught Yankee gringos that white supremacy is mental toilet paper, and we can get to the spotless summit by taking U.S.-Mexico Megamerge rather than U.S.-Mexico War Dos, gracias, yo hablo Espanol.
But why not just loan them umpteen more billion dollars and let them develop their own country? Why let gringos move down there and forever change the ethnic, racial and cultural makeup? Duh, because the Mexicans did it first by coming to the U.S., and all their great arguments that we have no right to stop them can be reversed, can't they, what are they gonna do, turn around and say they don't hold agua? It don't take much to turn a Mexican into an American, ask all them millions who received amnesty in 1986, and are clamoring for it now. Hundreds of years of failure to launch should tell them something, they need us, just like we need them, the world is shrinking fast and we gotta regroup if we're gonna survive, and giving their existing did I say cruddy corrupt government big bucks will just make the rich richer as graft and corruption siphons it off before the little guy sees it. To make sure it's spent right, and that the concept of private property isn't thrown away at the same time, we need to move in and watch over it on the spot, not via giant throwaway foreign aid, but by Americans moving in with their own capital, with an extended U.S. government that protects everybody's rights, complete with its massive checks and balances where even getting a free golf trip or a vacation home causes national publicity and Congressional action, nobody gets away with squirreling billions unless they're Bernie Madoff, and he got caught too, would you want to be in his Guccis now, how many Mexican Madoffs are still making off with it? I'm talking about a permanent solution, not a quick fix that doesn't fix anything. It's the only way, there is no other. You loosen the tourniquet, let a little blood flow, then tighten it again, come on, eat your vegetables, did I mention shaken baby syndrome yet? We all got to get used to mixing and merging now or later, why not do it now, are you waiting for doomsday first?
So the Megamerge Dissolution Solution is hardly a doomsday scenario, give me that much. It's a win-win situation, a permanent, satisfying solution to an age-old problem that will otherwise never go away, the one that will end the sad cycle of barrier-building followed by amnesties that is what is really bleeding the U.S. dry, learn more about plaque buildup at artery tour dot com, then ask your doctor if it's time for Megamerge. And it will make us not only friends but fellow citizens, working on the same team vis a vis the rest of the world, which, as you might have noticed, is shrinking, with our top position being threatened yearly, you can set your home DVR to record the day's games right here, logic says you can't pound a nail where you can't swing a hammer, so much for logic? Destiny is not a matter of chance but a matter of choice, it's not a thing to be waited for, it's a thing to be achieved, who's that creepy guy behind me with the low credit score? I wonder what old George Washington would say if he knew that one of his megadollars could buy a double megastack, Megamerge Freakonomics, it's way better than fast food? Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed, but I do say no more than 10 to 20 million killed, tops!
Did I say we will be stronger together than we were separately yet? Get ready to hold your breath. Let's add the two countries together and see how the horribly wonderful avalanche of two-way don't say immigration but free free free migration might affect either or both. I take the following data from the CIA World Factbook.
Current Mexico vs. U.S. Economic Data (K=thousand, M=million, B=billion, T=trillion)
|GDP - per capita (PPP)||$12.5K||$48K||$39K|
|GDP - real growth rate||3%||1.3%||1.75%|
|GDP - composition by sector (Agr/Ind/Service)||3.9%/26.3%/69.9%||1.2%/19.6%/79.2%||1.92%/21%/76%|
|Labor force - by occupation (Agr/Ind/Service)||18%/24%/58%||0.6%/22.6%/76.8%||5.6%/23%/71.8%|
|Unemployment rate (+underemployment)||3.7% (+25%)||7.2% (+15.6%)||4.3% (+18%)|
|Population below poverty line||17.6%||12.6%||13.9%|
|Household income or consumption by share||lowest 10%: 1.6% highest 10%: 39.4%||lowest 10%: 2% highest 10%: 30%||lowest 10%: 1.9% highest 10%: 32%|
|Distribution of Family Income - Gini index||46.1 (a coverup - should be 86.1?)||45 (another coverup, should be 56.1?)||45.3|
|Inflation rate (consumer prices)||4%||4%||4%|
|Investment (gross fixed)||21.5% of GDP||15.5% of GDP||17.1% of GDP|
|Budget||revenues: $209.2B expenditures: $209.2B||revenues: $2.7T expenditures: $3.1T||revenues: $2.9T expenditures: $3.3T|
|Public debt||23.1% of GDP||60.8% of GDP||50.7% of GDP|
|Industrial production growth rate||1.2%||0.2%||0.47%|
|Electricity - production||222.4B kWh||4.167T kWh||4.389T kWh|
|Electricity - consumption||183.3B kWh||3.892T kwH||4.07T kwH|
|Electricity - exports||1.597B kWh||20.14B kWh||21.73B kWh|
|Electricity - imports||470.7M kWh||51.4B kWh||522.1B kWh|
|Oil - production||3.784M bbl/day||8.457M bbl/day||12.241M bbl/day|
|Oil - consumption||2.078M bbl/day||20.68M bbl/day||22.76M bbl/day|
|Oil - exports||2.268M bbl/day||1.165M bbl/day||3.433M bbl/day|
|Oil - imports||308,500 bbl/day||13.71M bbl/day||14.02M bbl/day|
|Oil - proved reserves||12.88B bbl||20.97B bbl||33.85B bbl|
|Natural gas - production||41.37B cu m||545.9B cu m||587.27B cu m|
|Natural gas - consumption||47.5B cu m||652.9B cu m||700.4B cu m|
|Natural gas - exports||282.9M cu m||23.28B cu m||23.56B cu m|
|Natural gas - imports||9.717B cu m||130.3B cu m||140.0B cu m|
|Natural gas - proved reserves||434.1B cu m||5.977T cu m||6.411 cu m|
|Current account balance||-$5.414B||-$568.8B||-$574.2B|
|Exports||$267.5B f.o.b.||1.377T f.o.b.||1.645T f.o.b.|
|Exports - partners||US 84.7%, Canada 2.1%, Spain 1.3%||Canada 21.4%, Mexico 11.7%, China 5.5%, Japan 5.4%, UK 4.3%, Germany 4.3%||-|
|Imports||$279.3B f.o.b.||$2.19T f.o.b.||$2.47T f.o.b.|
|Imports - partners||US 50.9%, China 9.5%, Japan 6%, South Korea 4.2%||China 16.9%, Canada 15.7%, Mexico 10.6%, Japan 7.4%, Germany 4.8%||-|
|Economic aid - recipient||$189.4M||0||-|
|Reserves of foreign exchange and gold||$85.11B||$70.57B||$155.68B|
|Debt - external||$182B||$12.25T||$12.43T|
|Stock of direct foreign investment - at home||$236.2B||$2.22T||$2.46T|
|Stock of direct foreign investment - abroad||$30.75B||$2.751T||$3.059T|
|Market value of publicly traded shares||$348.3B||$17T||$17.35T|
Treating the two countries as one is fantastically easy, a blip on the U.S. side, a giant improvement on the Mexican side, right out of the starting blocks. Okay, I might have failed to collapse some intertwined figures, but one thing's obvious. Since 85% of Mexico's exports go to the U.S., yet account for less than 12% of U.S. imports, erasing those lines in the table doesn't change diddly, and the rest of the lines don't bother me, how about you? Let's not mention the $25B-$100B a year of drugs shipped to the U.S. by Mexico, since that's one of the first things that the megamerged U.S. will clamp down on, maybe they will finally wake up and decriminalize and tax them and kill two pajaros (birds) with one tiro (stone).
But the above table is only the initial condition of the megamerge. Now, think of how the underdeveloped former failed state of Mexico might start taking off after massive migration from the U.S. into its new U.S. states, and let's try to imagine its GDP per capita quadrupling to equal the U.S. in 20-40 years, rising to $5.3T, giving the U.S. a combined $19.6T GNP, I can already see President Obama spending it. And that's not counting the likely scenario that the population of Mexico, er, the Extreme Southern U.S. will zoom, let's say to 300M, with maybe 150M-200M gringos (white/black/yellow/whatever) and their descendants in 20-40 years after they breed like I-have-to-say-rabbits in the exciting dynamic new sunny frontier, and the combined GNP would double to $28T! Tom Tancredo can suck my gringo dick, I rest my case. Don't stop believing, hold onto that feeling, love will find a way, as will sweet reason. The World's Greatest Genius (tm) is on your side.
Back to the sovereignty thing. If you still think I'm advocating that the U.S. surrender its sovereignty, you need to read it again, look, nothing up my sleeves. Quite the opposite, I'm for Mexico surrendering its sovereignty, and the U.S. extending its sovereignty to a bunch of new U.S. states. The Mexican government has got to go, it really has to go. After the Megamerge Dissolution Solution is implemented, the U.S. flag will fly over Mexico City, Guadalajara, and Veracruz. But one big catch: it will be a new U.S. flag, with more stars, and all that that implies, meaning that they will have to adopt our system, complete with all federal laws and Supreme Court decisions, and give up their crap of an official language and religion, which we don't even have, and their red-green-white flag, which originally (1821) meant white for the Catholic religion, green for a green-go style republic partially copying the U.S., and red for the Castilian Spanish, who loved to lord it over the Indios and kick them down since 1492, until they fought back and secured their rights, Viva Father Hidalgo and Benito Juarez, we're all bigger than that now. But it also means that any foreign country trying to invade Mexico and destroy its Mexican subculture and make them wear turbans or wave hammers and sickles or the Red Star of the East will be declaring war on the U.S., which will be sure and kick its ass. Maybe some state capitals will continue to fly the old Mexican flag alongside the U.S. flag, like Southern states used to fly the Confederate flag for decades after they lost the U.S. Civil War, but that's down in the mud as far as importance. I'm sure there will be legislation introduced into the megamerged U.S. Congress to make Cinco de Mayo a national holiday, so what, I wish I had a lowrider too sometimes, send me the free DVD, what color do I have to wear to show that I'm Mexican, I hope it's green. And you know what I'm going to say, it should be renamed to U.S.-Mexico Megamerge Day.
With a friendly mutually-beneficial megamerge movement on both sides of the hopefully-time-limited-border, we can do the right thing without anybody getting hurt, and not only remain next-door neighbors but real next-door neighbors as well as fellow countrymen, it's not Fantasy Island starring Ricardo Montalban but the U.S. Island starring all of us.
The new reality of a bigger, better megamerged U.S. that got over its racist and ethnocentric past but doesn't give up the best aspects, particularly the U.S. Constitution, and is more able to compete with other emerging meganations such as the European Union, Asian Union and African Union can only be good, especially as none of them will enjoy our superior style of government for the forseeable future, watch out, you might be arrested for opening your mouth, keep track of your kids while they're in the park. Okay, you might have your arguments in favor of some of the European governments in the former Land of Hitler, or the Canadian government, forget about Quebec, forgive me if I stare, move there if you like it so much, if they allow you to, but there's no argument that the Mexican government is irredeemably corrupt, and will always cause its population to want to brave Hell to come to live under our our our government, Stars and Stripes included plus three squares a day, we just want to build our house and raise our family. So let's get rid of it ASAP and show everybody, thank you very much, Elvis just left the house.
What about the U.N., will it stand by and let the Megamerge Dissolution Solution happen? Why not? There's no possibility of anarchy where they need to send in peacekeepers, everything is phased and generally awesome and visionary, no surprises. The U.S. already has a permanent seat on the U.N. Security Council, let Russia and China eat cake :) The U.S. practically pays for the U.N. anyway, they oughta be happy that our GDP is going to zoom, lunch your tummy right, let them throwup in the bathroom.
And puleese, this has nothing to do with the Bible and the Tower of Babel, yes I read it from cover to cover 50 times so don't waste my time, if God was going to blast the U.S. with lightning bolts for merging states he would have done it 50 times since 1776. Neither am I advocating everybody crowding into the U.S. from around the world until every city is as densely populated as New York, or that the U.S. have a single official language, culture or religion, just a single united people of New Worlders forgetting past grudges and living under the good ole U.S. Constitution and laws, which will include gringo-Americans and Mexican-Americans living, loving and thriving throughout its 4.55 million square miles, I used to go to ridiculous lengths to hide my body, but not any more, haha. To quote the AFL-CIO, keep it made in America.
You still think keeping the border going is the solution? Whadya want to try instead, another ten amnesties? It's so one-sided now: they sneak in, we deport a fraction, simmer awhile, then grant the rest amnesty since they found and kept jobs so they're paying taxes like the rest of us, plus had a bunch of kids who got automatic citizenship, then turn around and try to stop up new migration with new ever-more-expensive billion-dollar monumental wastes. So who's smarter, them or the gringos, arriba andale ahaha? To make the game fair, you'd think gringos would itch to move south and set up new cities and hire eager Mexicans on the spot to do the grunt work, plus all the eager gringos and Mexicans that saw the job ads and moved southward, so that everybody can enjoy that sunny Mexican vacation weather all the time, not just retiring Mexicans and vacationing gringos. And they will, after the Megamerge Dissolution Solution is implemented. God Bless the U.S.A., all wonderful 60-75 states of it, and enjoy the Mega American Experience.
Physician, the first principle is do no harm. Take the tourniquet off or it might turn into irreversible gangrene. We are one body, the blood is all just as red. If the Mexicans are so backward that they can't fit into the U.S. economy, and aren't good enough for citizenship, how come they steal so many jobs from gringos despite all the odds, and why does every president Democratic and Republican, including George W. Bush and Barack Obama try to give them citizenship, haggling only about the timing and the price? Gunsmoke, Little House on the Prairie, The Waltons, Bonanza, The Megamerge Dissolution Solution, it fits. Remember the half-empty vs. half-full philosophical test, what was your score? Why get ugly over a shrinking pie when we can expand the pie, with all having equal seats at our bigger better God Bless America Table? You have the right picture in your brain, now put it into your heart and hurry up and do something. The current Mexican class structure is irrelevant, it would soon become kaput after the mass 2-way migration, think of what happened to East Berlin after the Berlin Wall came down, yah I mentioned that thrice already, I think you should remember it.
It's the idea of equalizing development and opportunities permanently, with gringo-Americans and Mexican-Americans living wherever they want and can afford that makes the idea not only attractive but inevitable, no matter how many temporary and wasteful solutions are tried to keep the stupid border going on the map, so the longer we wait and the more money and time we waste the more it's hurting us. Look at Europe, they already have the EU and are making us look sick. It's never too late, and I don't want to have to tell you I warned ya, there's nothing wrong with you, you look great. Yes, if Central America wants to join later, another seven states with another 40 million people and another 202K square miles shouldn't be a problem but another solution. South America probably won't want to join anytime soon since they're pretty much self-sufficient like Canada, but they will always have the temptation and the invitation, call us their future safety net.
No hurry? So how much time and money, and how many lives will be wasted until the current weak indefensible bleeding border is finally dissolved and the new true bigger better healthy seabound border established and fortified? How many more cycles of border blockages and amnesties? How many more years of Mexican drug lords and kidnappers using the endless 1,969-mile border as a foil, sure, getting a job is challenging, but area employers are still hiring thugs with a diploma in drug trafficking? Let them drug dealers crowd into Belize and Guatemala and deal from there, if they can.
Still no hurry? So, how long will Mexico remain sadly undeveloped, a sad giant waste to all, while the grudges build up? Why do most Mexicans try to cross the border now, to plunder and pillage, or to work and maybe to live permanently as an American, and watch their children grow up to be good Americans like Sonia Sotomayor? Enough grudges could reach a point of no return, you wanna live to see that day? Would a new Mexican Castro who invited our worst enemies to set up nuclear missiles change your opinion about megamerging after it's too late? How about a horrible epidemic from Mexico that kills millions in the U.S., which could have been prevented by U.S. health standards? How about an invasion from another continent into defenseless Mexico, using it as a launching pad for an invasion of the upper 48, with a did I say 1,969-mile soft underbelly bleeding us pardon the expression white? They could easily justify an invasion by calling our walled-up gunned-up border a form of Apartheid. And even if we succeeded in driving them out of Mexico, what would be left of Mexico to stop another invasion? Duh, we were so blind and arrogant when we were on the top, we should have megamerged long before and brought it up to the same strength as the other 50 states, hopping its GDP up by several multiples when we had the chance, so what if we have to call them sir like they do us, Reagan woulda called it Supply Side Economics, even a president as dumb as him had the right idea, and he was a gringo. There's smart, and there's Megamerge Dissolution Solution smart. I never backed down from a fight in my life, and when something this important's at stake, I take no prisoners. I have a dream of a nation where people are judged by you know what not you know what.
Still lying there dreaming of the good old days when the U.S. was 90-plus percent white and the other races were treated like merde, and knew they were not wanted, did separate drinking fountains and restrooms give them a hint, how about a game of shinwhack? Try to think past your knee-jerk racism, please, I was blind now I see, too bad I had to knock several teeth out when I forgot to arch my back before the last knee-jerk. So you're white, you have to face reality, pay at least a little for the crimes of your ancestors, hopefully not being raked across the coals, I've been a saint to those poor unfortunate souls, I know a spell that will turn you into a human for three days, and don't underestimate the power of body language, whoo, I'm the Little Mermaid. Face it, whitey, there's already umpteen million Mexicans living in the U.S., like it or not, 10% of their whole population at least, and it's not the end of the world last time I checked. Despite some crime problems with a minority of them we mainly seem to be able to get along as long as we are all enjoying being under U.S. law, would you prefer anarchy or Mexican law? So how can extending U.S. government and its law south hurt anyone, take a breath and go ahead and sign the scroll. I'm not asking you to respect them as foreigners, but as fellow Americans, who salute the same flag you do, and are willing to pay the same price for freedom, so what if they were born on the wrong side of the racial tracks, okay you don't have to love them either, just respect them and their rights like they will respect you and yours, they're allowing you in their old exclusive preserve too, if you behave yourself and stick to the plan there won't be any trouble. Don't have a plan? Join a challenge team at Megamerge dot com.
But the U.S. has no experience with megamerging, and you're proposing a giant crap shoot? Wrong, we've already done it, with the American South, after we kicked their rebel butts and devastated their land, then forced them to reuinite with us, and turned millions of dirt-poor third world white trash enemies into fellow citizens overnight, allowing anybody who wanted to migrate to the North if they could find a job, while building U.S. military bases, including ports and training and logistics centers that became nuclei for Northerners and boosted the Southern economy. Sure, the rebels didn't like it at first, and we had to start with an occupation army that perpetrated all kinds of injustices, but they weren't there that long, and when they were pulled out the South became a strong and creditable sector of the U.S. And that was way back before the era of massive federal pork spending, which would accelerate any megamerge now, how about a Bridge to Somewhere? To make a long story short, look at the dynamic South now, it even produced presidents Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton, not bad, if Mexico does half as well I'll take it, how about you? And I'm not proposing a military takeover against the will of the majority, no, I'm requiring them to apply first, after we make them feel welcome with an official invite, although if the corrupt Mexican government gets pesky and wants to stop the will of the people, all military options would be on the table, there isn't enough Mexican military to spare from fighting the drug lords to defeat a women's soccer team, I already put immunity on the table for the existing regime, they can deal with them courts in Spain on their own.
But would gringos have to learn Spanish, or Mexicans learn English? It would start out no different than it is now. People would move where there's a bunch of people who speak what they speak, and the learning of a second language would be driven by economics. Thus, when gringos begin migrating south, they will probably end up in gringo ghettos in Mexican cities, until they build their own cities, with bilingual speakers used as necessary for hiring and management and government services, no different than it is now. After a generation, the children of both Mexican-Americans and gringo-Americans might very well include a large proportion of bilinguals, and in the meantime, do we want an eternal war over it or can we just learn to get along together and learn to appreciate and celebrate our differences? I know we can, taking it on a day-by-day basis hoping for greater understanding to set in, let's be pioneers. But just think, at the outset the corrupt Mexican government will have been dissolved, along with a huge dirty laundry list of festering problems, and a large list of sparkling solutions implemented, getting better every day, with the Extreme South getting to be a stronger and more important section of the U.S. every year, reaching out to the rest of Latin America. And just imagine, that dark foreboding feeling gringos have about the border will be gone forever, as will that increasing list of grudges Mexicans have about the border and the U.S. people and government, I got a gal in Kalamazoo, gonna take a sentimental journey to the Extreme South End, homes ese, where there is love I'll be there.
Not that I'm speaking for Mexicans. My plan hinges on them speaking up for themselves, organizing and petitioning for U.S. statehood. I'm just asking you current Americans to make them feel like they wouldn't be wasting their time, that they would be welcome to try. If they never actually do it, then so much for my plan, it will become their greatest mistake, until they change their minds, that is, pick up the phone and call, the offer is still open, we're U.S. Store It, and we got locations near you in all 50 states, with managers who are eager to help. An official joint resolution of both houses of the U.S. Congress would go a long way, as would an official proclamation by the president of the U.S., a conference of U.S. state governors, and a kind word at the next White House Easter Egg Roll. Even better, a unilateral stand-down at the border, tear down them walls Mister Obama, and erect welcome centers instead, with free lodging, food and recreational facilities like in The Grapes of Wrath, plus all expenses paid for the move out of Mexico, give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to pee free in unsegregated bathrooms, do you think that if women ran the world we would have as many wars, and do everything to welcome another 10, 20 or 50 percent in and hand them dual citizenship papers and hope that if they can't find jobs here they will go back down as our envoys, again with all expenses paid, and organize the megamerge faster, then officially invite us in after the old Mexican government is dissolved, for me, your favorite toy, I couldn't. Something great has happened, here it is.
Maybe you're a Mexican who doesn't trust gringos and still think it's some kind of trick. Do you honestly believe that Mexicans won't want to give up their wonderful Mexican government with such a sterling civil rights record and such honest incorruptible officials, where those of Spanish descent live on top of those of Indio descent, and a small group of ultra-rich alone really want to keep the status quo, after all, they will have no problemos making their getaways to the U.S., Europe or anywhere else? But shouldn't the Mexican people be permitted to have their own homeland? Sure, it's called the Estados Unidos de America. Whadya want, a separatist Mexican-only state? If so, then contact the hardcore white supremacists in El Norte and see if you can arrange a hostage exchange agreement, you're all sick. Let the entire Mexican people decide, but after they do, big surprise if they go for joining the U.S., let's not be shy about telling the existing Mexican government to take a hike. The mighty Soviet Union already collapsed under a popular pro-U.S. movement clear across the world where there was far less on the table, Coca-Cola, McDonald's Golden Arches and MTV with Madonna and Michael Jackson, so we oughta be able to ace one a hop skip and a jump from Washington D.C. where so much more is on the table, I can't help but cry ahaha. Die-hard Commies can always take a boat to Cuba, if they will let them immigrate. That's if Cuba doesn't get megamerge fever too, ahaha.
What if you're a black living in the U.S.? Amazingly, the black community is split over giving amnesty to Mexican immigrants. I guess they aren't old enough to remember Jim Crow, or didn't take their Black History classes seriously, for instance when they covered the 1857 Dred Scott decision of the U.S. Supreme Court that declared they aren't people but animals, and the 1850 Fugitive Slave Act that labelled escaped slaves as illegal alien animals subject to being hunted down, with criminal penalties for even harboring or aiding them, making all kinds of good whites illegal too. That was all ended, not by a calm rational debate but a horrible civil war followed by a century of ugly violent political struggles, so why wouldn't all U.S. blacks be for megamerging with Mexico now and extending all those U.S. laws there, if only to increase the size of their victory dance? Duh, petty brown-black racism? What a way to start the week. Right now there's only 1-2 million Afro-Mexicans, does that seem right, here's your chance.
You read this far and still wanna tell me it won't work? Then check out the 2008 report of the Pew Research Center that predicts that if we do nothing, U.S. population will soar to 438 million by 2050, and the Hispanic population will triple to 29%, with non-Hispanic whites sliding to 47%. You wanna wait till then to Megamerge, and dig your first spadeful of dirt trying to play catch up after it might be a little too late, huh, do you, huh? Not to mention that you will be 40 years older, and probably not in much of a condition physically or financially to migrate anywhere? Don't look at me. By then I would be 97 myself, and probably in a condition neither to laugh nor cry.
We're almost through, so the gloves come off, I'm gonna get you where you live. If you aren't crying with joy by now having seen the light, you're probably listening to somebody secretly telling you that the net result of the Megamerge Dissolution Solution will be horrible racial amalgamation, insert your favorite degrading racial slur here, your devil inside will supply it. Well, so what if it does? Let me give you a little science lesson, if you don't tune me out: there are no such things as races, science can't even define them, there's just inbred groups created by geographic isolation suffering from the effects of inbreeding, ask Jews about Tay-Sachs, blacks about sickle cell, and the old white European ruling family about idiocy and hemophilia. Ask Barack Obama's law school class about hybrid vigor when they elected him president of the Harvard Law Review on his way to becoming president of your whole blessed Ocountry.
Racism as an ism is intellectually bankrupt, and is just sad to see now. No, beyond sad. It's the Devil at work, the racist his dupe, his sad dupe. There's no Devil? Then who's been telling you it's all like a big race, and you have a number on your back, but we're all pretty much equally matched by somebody whose name starts with G, so he's just delighted to help you fix the race and win a big blue ribbon to paste on your dumbass face by killing off the other contestants, just sign over your non-existent soul first, start a new career with Dumbass Inc.? Maybe he even told you that God actually awarded the race to you before it even started, so let's get nuts, the house is burning down, the kids are sick sick sick, sick sick sick? You know what God really said? There never was a race, just a test.
A racist is not really picking a fight with his fellow man, he's picking a fight with God, because God made everyone, and called it good, actually very good, check your Bibles, and told everybody to be fruitful and multiply, to love your neighbor as yourself. To be a racist you have to believe that God only made your kind good, and that he somehow had a bad day and made some garbage, and later commissioned you to clean up his garbage, by murder, and all you have to do is control the government to make murder of the garbage a public good rather than a felony worthy of your own execution by the state, despite what the Bible says about when you kill your brother your life will become forfeit in this world, and God will judge you in the next. So what do you have to do to get around that? Ask Stalin, Mao and Hitler, millions already sadly did. You deny God and make the state God so that it can tell you what you want to hear, ultimately leading to subverting the state into Hell on Earth. Well I got news for you, straight from God: God doesn't make garbage. So get over it, you can't win, you're doomed to lose the final battle huge, and end up on the garbage heap of history along with them. Instead, get on the winners team now and dump the racist crap once and for all, and reboot your inner operating system so the rest of your precious One Life to Live Starring You will have a winning future, the key to success, give Him a call and it will really work out, and that applies even if you're an atheist, since you can't call Big Banger he blew up a long time ago and left God in charge.
And don't read me your Darwin, even he was talking about evolution of whole species, like cocka-caca-cockroaches, not devolution of the human species by racism and mass murder, how sad when people call other people cockroaches, the real ones would laugh if they could. And current evolutionists teach that modern humans originated in Africa about 200,000 years ago, and migrated from there to Europe and Asia about 70,000 years ago, and that the American aborigines arrived via the Bering Land Bridge about 16,500 years ago, hence we're all illegal immigrants here in America, listen to the birds sing, I love that sound. Worse for you racists, scientists have found that there is little genetic difference between the three main genome groups, African, Eurasian and East Asian. That's right, they are virtually indistinguishable genetically, other than minor differences such as skin color, which uses only six of 25K genes, and is obviously connected to penis size, right, the Hangover, Rated R, now playing?
What happened with race is that it isn't real, but those six genes stared people in the face all the time, so it became an unattainable ideal, like manhood and womanhood. And since the U.S. started out with white people running everything since day one in Jamestown in 1607, this ideal became an Impossible Dream of forever keeping the expanding country white no matter what, causing 400 years of Hell. To quote African-American writer James Baldwin, "As social and moral and political and sexual entities, white Americans are probably the sickest and certainly the most dangerous people of any color to be found in the world today." I think he went a little too far there, since it was way worse back in the white homelands of Britain and Europe, where white supremacists had the upper hand on all fronts, including the scientific front, until slowly but surely science started to figure it out, although too late to stop the white world from being filled with hatred, injustice and wars in an impossible dream of deleting most of the human gene pool in the name of civilization and progress, with no wise U.S. Constitution and Declaration of Independence with its we hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal to restrain them. At least when white racism assumed its final form of naked barbaric genocide, the U.S. was finally shocked into waking up and kicking Hitler's ass, so why not keep on the right path and show the way to heal all grudges with the American aborigines, of which Mexico contains a large number? We have much that's worth preserving, but racism must go.
Too bad, now some of the victims are naturally nursing grudges along with their own impossible dreams of an ideal non-white race of whatever brand, which the minority of white supremacists still nursing their impossible dream can jump on to excuse their racism. Even the Hatfields and McCoys eventually kissed and made up, so why can't we? Yes, racism is evil, so it will always be with us, and it can not only torpedo and sink my Megamerge Dissolution Solution proposal, but destroy this entire continent, if we let it. So let's stop stop stop the racism and reason together. We have the power now, not long-dead people, and we have a tool to fight evil, called reason. Racism, white, brown, black, yellow, and red, and pseudo-racism gringo, Indio and Hispanic has never and will never solve anything, it's a refusal to think and try to find a solution, just like the stupid U.S.-Mexico border is now, the problem itself, indeed the border problem is a result of centuries of racism, start early, develop a good habit, that should have been the key here, how sad. How double sad, since originally it was even more complicated for our forefathers, with the Catholic-Protestant-Jewish-pagan thing overlaid over the racial thing, at least we got over that pretty much with the help of a lot of thinkers, who need to get their act in gear with the Muslim terrorists by the way, because Islam isn't a race it's a Borg mind cult, and is using racism as a coverstory to move into the graveyard-filled gaps and set up shop so they can go into their terminal mode of killing non-believers like bugs, sorry Mister Obama, I'm going to keep my guard up when it comes to them, and even if I was a WASP racist I'd be for uniting with Mexicans, Catholicism and all, to kick their butts if they try anything over here. There should never be any reason to admit zillions of Allah Akbars to the U.S. unless we really do want to commit suicide, sorry.
Get over this people are expendable gumballs we only will have to kill so many to achieve our goals mentality, and start living one day at a time, taking people as amazing creations and opportunities to go into business with, not pesky bugs in a shoot-em-up video game to be zapped for a score like at Colorado's Columbine High School. I'm giving you a triple breakthrough in social, political and economic technology, every second matters, you're not getting any younger are ya, what have you done to make people glad you lived, or did you just care about yourself and didn't care how many you hurt, don't be surprised if nobody comes to your funeral, you stink.
And don't call the Megamerge Dissolution Solution leftist propaganda in an attempt to trivialize it. It's not leftist, rightist, or anything else, because it's about expanding the U.S., with all political parties intact, just a lot of new fresh fish to sign up, take it from there, you have a lot of recruiting work to do, maybe you should take some Spanish lessons on the Jungle Zoo Internet. Nor does it have anything to do with a conspiracy of world bankers, although I'm sure they will be glad to come along for the ride and sign everybody up for bigger credit card deals. It's about the U.S., which goes back to 1776, and has a long history of expansion by hook or crook as it forged a pathway to the Pacific Ocean, finally doing the right thing with its poor southern neighbor, call it evolution but hold the Darwin. I thought this all up, not any world bankers, maybe they are so old they all got Alzheimer's. I'm not for dissolving all of the borders of the U.S., quite the opposite, I'm for expanding them and putting us in a better position to tighten them up later. Mass migrations not bankers make real history, tada. But to make this happen we all gotta conquer racism as a nation and keep it voluntary and peaceful.
Did I mention the Berlin Wall? Explain why Germany, home of the original Blonde Master Race Itself, the #1 country on Earth until it self-destructed in WWII and was split in half, why why why did East Germany fall so far behind West Germany economically? Was it that East Germany was full of illegal alien wetbacks of an inferior race? Keep it simple, stupid. It wasn't about race it was about their cruddy corrupt government, ask any former female East German athlete who now has balls. And that happened in just a matter of decades, while Mexico has been languishing for almost 200 years behind the Brownsville Wall. So why not give peace a chance, to quote what's his name? Besides, Mexico is famous for having a revolution every 100 years, starting in 1810, then 1910, so why not the final Megamerge Revolution in 2010? They can do beer right, I like my Corona, Dos Equis and Tecate cold and wouldn't trade a bottle of any of them for a case of Coors, so I know they can do this right too. Do you want to be part of the problem or part of the solution? Try the Megamerge Dissolution Solution, you'll like it, and so will your grandkids.
What should the U.S. immigration policy be after the U.S.-Mexico Megamerge? Hey, we can't let a billion people swamp us out, can we, and if they're not from neighboring countries and aren't giving us their territory to expand into, they don't have the same rights to expect neighborly treatment, but the U.S. is a nation of immigrants and should always be the Emerald City of Oz to any and all Dorothies who want to come, so how about a nice round 1% per year (based on U.S. life expectancy), starting with 4 million a year at first when the U.S. pop. is 400 million, if we can find that many who want to apply that is? If they come from other continents, it's okay to check them out for strange diseases and anti-U.S. views and terrorist ties first, hopefully not allowing too many ahem, fundamentalist Muslims in ever, sorry, I know too much history, but everybody else is cool with me, if they can join our giant melting pot without getting Medieval on our asses, how about you? After we finally dump white supremacy and mellow out and show the world we're Da Real Thing, how can we be hated anymore? Won't the 21st century be grand?
A last word. Please help TLW spread this idea, he's just a lone voice crying in the Internet wilderness, and can't implement the plan, that's up to you, on both sides, there's a ton of work to do and TLW is no politician even if he does look like Abraham Lincoln and Benjamin Franklin put together, just a lone wolf independent thinker who likes to think up big solutions and take them public, genius is a 4-letter word that begins with TLW, in my TLW mountain home life is as peaceful as a baby's sigh. If you have an audience, tell them about the solution and plug this article. TLW needs 7-9 hours of sleep a night like most people, and likes to watch a little bit of TV, and doesn't Tweet cause he doesn't have insomnia. Help me get it to 1 million views to give it a proper launch into the public arena, after which if it's good it will happen, if it's not good it won't, the U.S. usually does the right thing in the end, call me gullible I'm an American and believe in it, why do you think I keep saying God Bless America, cue the music, how about becoming a gullible American too, together we can provide loads of hope, this Tums goes to work in seconds. It's urgent, the crisis is more than I can't fit in my jeans, which may sound melodramatic as in effeminate, but trust me, I have big cahones, just let a Muslim terrorist try to hijack my plane, and if I really thought the U.S. were threatened in its very existence by Mexico I'd work my way up to 5-star general and make George Washington proud. But brains trump brawn. Mexicans are not our enemies, yet, despite all we've done to give them a reason, they have proven very decent about it considering, the wall's in America's court, along with the malls, now let's show some balls and whip out the ring and pop the question and arrange the Big M with the girl next door, and make her an honest woman. How many times has the U.S. waited until a disaster or catastrophe to give it a reality check and force it to hurriedly close the barn door after the horse got out? It's a new millennium, things happen faster, we need to be proactive, don't wait for your annual appointment, email your Megamerge doctor now. Okay, I'm hosting it on a free Web site now, meaning they make money each time somebody clicks, not me, but they might shut it down if it gets a million views, and if we get there I hope somebody will offer to host it on their server.
Not that 1 million views is anywhere near enough, it should be more like 438 million. Yes, I'm asking for it, millions of initial knee-jerk reaction emails as people are shocked then go into denial, then begin to let the idea seep in, and finally embrace it and try to coverup their initial statements as they try to jockey for position, see if I try to rub it in, it's exciting enough to win slow, along with the U.S., rather than lose fast with the current lose-lose border. Eventually the Double-M-D-S has to take over the U.S. popular opinion and intelligentisa, this is the beginning of something great in North America, watch the copycat attempts in Europe, Asia and Africa. I just want to keep it pure and from being perverted to evil racist ends, that's why I need to stay distant from politics, even if I can galavant all over the Internet at speeds you can't afford.
Credits: none, sorry. The idea of annexing Mexico has been proposed by a lot of people for decades, without success, because the entire package as I am presenting it eluded them, but at least they tried, viva them. The Megamerge Dissolution Solution is the winning solution, and I owe it to nobody, it's all mine, the result of a lifetime of gaining knowledge and wisdom, and wanting to give back. Maybe my WGG trademark throws you or turns you off, don't let it, I'm hoping to do only good with my crammed cranium and have no personal ambitions, just hopefully a kind word from future historyscopers for coming up with the really big ideas that solved the most problems for the most people, if anybody wants to make me step down then put up your bigger better ideas that reflect an even broader and deeper knowledge and understanding than mine do, or shut up and learn from me, I'm da man.
P.S. although I can do it if I try, I got so many other things to do, and prefer to let snappy writers translate this article into snappy Spanish, French and other necessary languages for me, voluntarily, without pay, the hardest part being the finding of equivalents of my all over the map pop culture references without changing the basic message, something that would take too much of my time since it requires thousands of hours of immersion in TV, radio and movies in those languages, sorry if I keep polishing it all the time, my mental lightning storm never stops. Okay, you can translate it sans all unnecessary pop culture references, it will make it shorter but less fun to read, and give them an incentive to take English lessons so they can read TLW alongside Shakespeare and Martin Luther King. Email when you've done it and I'll post it, giving you credit, a link, whatever I can, except money.
Before You GoThe Megamerge Dissolution Solution was launched by TLW on Apr. 28, 2009 (ten years after the Columbine High School Massacre that happened just miles away from TLW's home in Colo.) like a bolt of lightning out of the sky, and it is slowly picking up momentum as it diffuses via the Internet. But much remains to be done, so don't look at TLW, look in the mirror. You know the problems, you know the solution, now break that mirror and go out and become the hero that will make it happen. Get thee hence, Sir Knight or Dear Noble Lady, or whatever you prefer to call yourself, and spread the word, write letters, put up Web sites, form groups or join, interest politicians in it or become a politician yourself, and let's make the Megamerge Dissolution Solution a reality before the end of the Obama administration, who knows who'll follow him into the White House? The U.S. and Mexico have a great future, together, as one nation, multicultural and bilingual, a model for the region and the world. The new paradigm in U.S.-Mexico relations is when and how we will megamerge, not the tired old no-win paradigm of what police action will be implemented at the border or what will be done with nasty illegal Mexican aliens, jail, deport, or groan, legalize. TLW will be here to stand behind you and supply intellectual ammo as needed, especially to keep politicians from corrupting it or turning it to racist ends. Don't be afraid to suggest it to politicians of all stripes, left, right, and middle of the bird, it's got room for everybody since we're going to work on making the bird itself bigger and better.
T.L. Winslow (TLW), "the World's Greatest Genius" (tm)
Keywords: US,USA,Mexico,US-Mexico,border,problem,solution,megamerge,dissolution,illegal,aliens, undocumented,workers,amnesty,annexation,legalization,constitution,sovereignty,racism, justice,development,wall,fence,guard,INS,ICE,Brownsville,Berlin Wall,Obama,Calderon, Reagan,Bush,Nixon,Washington,Lincoln,Calhoun,Juarez,Hidalgo,Winslow,TLW
Summary of the Seven Steps to Be Taken
- 1. The U.S. Congress officially invites the people of Mexico to dissolve their govt. and join the U.S. as 10 or more new U.S. states.
- 2. The people of Mexico respond by forming statehood conventions and petitioning for statehood, providing proposed state constitutions. Initially there might be more states applying than the Congress is willing to accept.
- 3. The U.S. Congress accepts the petitions after probably going through a cycle of rewrites of the constitutions according to its guidelines and suggestions. It also decides on how many states it will initially accept, and puts out a plan for additional states to be formed after certain guidelines are met.
- 4. The current Mexican federal govt. hopefully will work with the U.S. and facilitate the process, inviting the U.S. military and coast guard to move in and establish U.S. sovereignty, secure the new borders, and end the lawlessness.
- 5. The new state governments elect state and federal representatives and send congresspersons to Washington, D.C. to take their seats.
- 6. The old Mexican govt. dissolves, and the U.S.-Mexico border comes down, allowing all 414 million American citizens to work together to share the New World peacefully.
- 7. Congress establishes U.S.-Mexico Megamerge Day as a national holiday, hopefully May 5 (Cinco de Mayo).
Suggestions for the Ten New U.S. States
Apr. 29, 2010
Even after Congress invites the people of Mexico to dissolve their government and join as 10+ new states, and they accept via referendum or other means, there will likely be a fight over how many, what boundaries, and what names. I suppose that the current 30 states have proud traditions and fierce rivalries, but if both sides don't meet in the middle they will get nowhere, so here's my two cents worth.
First, I think all the old Mexican state names should go, so that the new U.S. sector has a fresh beginning. The old names can still be preserved in county names, can't they? Second, I think the best names are those that will attract southward migration, which is what will turn them into hot new economic zones. Hence, I've selected the following ten names for starters:
1. New California
2. New Florida
3. New Texas
4. New Arizona
8. Sierra or Sierra Montana
9. Baja or Baja California
Don't ask me about boundaries, that will require a political process, but the above names seem quite servicable and the boundaries should reflect the names. For example, New California should be along the west coast where the present Mexican states from Sinaloa to Guerrero now lie, New Florida should include the east coast down to Veracruz, Azteca should include the Mexico City region, and Sierra the mountainous region. I'd prefer to keep Oaxaca and Yucatan because they were there long before Mexico, and are fun to pronounce, and Monterrey is the most desirable place to live in Mexico now, so why fix something that isn't broke, although Nuevo Leon isn't so bad either. The recent actions of the state of Arizona to jail undocumented Mexicans might make the name New Arizona less desirable, or more desirable, depending on your point of view, but the idea of an arid desert state seems fitting for the areas now occupied by Sonora and Chihuahua, although the line between it and New Texas would have to be negotiated, the latter state being composed of land areas suited to vast cattle ranches to attract Texans.
The 2010 Haitian Earthquake: A Golden OpportunityThe horrible 2010 Haitian Earthquake sickens me, but now that I've shown the way with Mexico maybe it's time to megamerge Haiti first. After all, it's only got 10 million people, and if the U.S. takes this golden opportunity it can not only help the earthquake victims and rebuild Haiti with earthquake-proof buildings, but finally end their super-corrupt govt. and annex Haiti as the 51st state even ahead of Mexico, allowing mass 2-way migration that will change the pop. mix and turn it from a hellhole to a paradise and vacation resort in a matter of years. The example will show Mexico, as well as Dominican Republic and Cuba the way that we can share the New World in the new millennium. Tell your reps about this site and mention Haiti as well as Mexico.
Megamerge Dissolution Solution Video LoungeThanks for reading my little ole proposal for making the world a better place. Now why don't you kick off your shoes and spend awhile viewing these videos I selected, showing how impossible the problems used to look, and still do to everybody not in the know, and how cool and within reach the solutions look now that you're sitting on the shoulders of the WGG.
Be sure and visit the Megamerge Discussion Forum on this site. Feel free to leave your comments. Just be sure to read mine (my article) before expecting TLW to read yours.
Alternate url for this page: http://go.to/megamerge
o Google Megamerge Dissolution Solution
o Addictomatic Page for Megamerge Dissolution Solution
o Download a Text Version of This Article (Search for Megamerge)
o July 21, 2009 Cato Institute Article: As Immigrants Move In, Americans Move Up
o Sept. 7, 2009 L.A. Times article on misleading facts and figures being circulated regarding immigrants
o Sept. 23, 2009. Mexico: the Model Country for Today's Republicans. Article detailing the evils of the corrupt fatcat-controlled Mexican govt.
o Sept. 23, 2009. Pew Research Center survey showing that Mexicans prefer to live in the U.S.
o Sept. 28, 2009. What's the Bush Border Fence Good For? The sheer stupidity of it.
o Sept. 28, 2009. The growing U.S. problem of college graduates taking menial jobs.
o Oct. 3, 2009. In Arizona desert, illegal immigration's mysterious spike: Chinese caught in Arizona. More proof that the U.S.-Mexico border is the soft underbelly of the U.S.
o Oct. 7, 2009. Study on Immigration by Public Agenda.
o Nov. 23, 2009 Washington Post article on Mexican govt. humans rights abuses.
o Dec. 2009 Atlantic article on the horrible Mexican drug cartels that are corrupting the govt.
o Jan. 22, 2010 Reuters article on how drug money corrupts Mexico
o Article on how Mexico's agricultural output is hijacked for export, leaving Mexicans hungry
o Mar. 1, 2010. Talk TV sensationalists and axe-grinding ideologues have fallen for a myth of immigrant lawlessness.
o May 13, 2010. U.S. drug czar admits that the 40-year-old drug war hasn't worked.
o June 7, 1010. Gallup Poll: 6.2 Million Mexicans Say They Want to Come to U.S.
o June 29, 2010. How Wachovia And Major U.S. Banks Have Spent The Past Four Years Helping Mexican Drug Cartels
o Aug. 1, 2010. The Mexican Border’s Lost World, by Marc Lacey in the NYT
o Mar. 4, 2011 Two Languages in Peaceful Coexistence in One Society
o June 26, 2011. $90 billion wasted on so-called border security since 2000
o June 26, 2011. Jorge G. Castaneda's "Manana Forever?" - discusses Mexico's chronic problemos
o July 1, 2011. Toribio Romo, patron saint of U.S.-Mexico border-crossers
o July 12, 2011. Border Fences Pose Threats to Wildlife On US-Mexico Border, Study Shows
o Mexico City's Guinness World Records
o Cool Interactive Map of Mexico
TLW's Historyscopa de Mexico for History Ignoramuses - This means you! TLW guides you through the key facts of Mexican history from Columbus to Calderon as only he can do. Get serious and learn some history! It's free.